There's immense pressure, even if it's well meaning, to go out and do. To do literally almost anything. From those PSAs I mentioned that tell you it gets better or someone cares or you're not alone, there's a pressure on you to agree with it and make that first step. And while that is a good thing for everyone who's ready, maybe some people aren't there yet, and again, that's the part nobody ever talks about.
But this is why people agree, universally, that the most effective thing you can do is talk to someone. Even if they don't have the answers, simply discussing the questions that are haunting your depressed brain can be a huge step in the right direction. You're not ready to sit down with a counselor? Fine. Talk to a friend. You don't have a friend? Fine. Plop your ass down next to the homeless guy outside of the grocery store, toss him a buck and start rambling. You'll be amazed how much it helps to just say that shit out loud, even if the ear you're unloading on belongs to your dog.
You Shouldn't "Should" Yourself
I gave myself one rule for writing this and it was to not "should" anyone. I don't want to tell you what you should do because I am barely qualified to tell people that they should avoid falling space debris. The point of this was that I couldn't even tell myself what I should do. But the insight I can offer is that no one needs to should themselves either. "I should drop out of school and rot away in a cave" has all the merit of "I should eat asparagus for every meal so my pee never loses that musk and I'm able to leave scent trails I can follow to navigate new neighborhoods." Yes, obviously those are both the best ideas I've ever actually written down, but I'm not bound to do them. You're not locked in by legal authority to feel like shit forever, or to eat those three cans of ravioli and spend the night weeping in three-days-past-their-prime underpants, a thing I never do.
I sob in a three-piece suit, like a classy person.
The world doesn't give us shoulds. Not really. For a while it seemed to me the world was saying I had an OK run as a child. I used to get good grades and people told me I was smart and I could be anything and I guess it had a change of heart later and thought "Oh, fuck that" and sent me down a new path towards slack-ass nothing in a pit of sour smells and dim lighting. But that wasn't the world. If the world had a consciousness, if the universe really was an entity, why the fuck would it even care what I did with myself? Imagine literally having the weight of existence on you and deciding you needed to alter reality to just shit on the fortunes of one random person out of billions. Is the universe a sociopath? Is it running for office in Montana? Where does it find the time?
So no, the universe and life weren't out to get me. I was just in a sucky place. We're all in sucky places sometimes. That's objective reality. If every day for a year you wake up with a still-steaming cat turd on your chest, and you don't even own a cat, you better believe that's super unlucky, and also maybe cause for buying a security camera, but it's not some esoteric message from a cosmic intelligence that high fives its buddies after you trip and fall in front of everyone. It's evidence you have a cat burglar. That's a little cat turd humor for you; tell your dad.
I have something very different for you to tell your mom.
If you're depressed, or think you are, or just feel like something's not the way it should be even if you don't know why, then fear not. A lot of us have been there, a lot more will be there. That's pretty much human nature. And you're damn right it sucks, and it'll suck until it stops sucking. And I'm not telling you what you should do, because I can't. I'll tell you I hope you ride it out until you're ready to take a step towards getting better. I hope you remember when things were better, and understand things can be better again. I hope you realize I have so many more dick jokes to make that you clearly need to read. I have hope, and I hope you do too. Put that shit on a Hallmark card.
For more check out 5 Facts Everyone Gets Wrong About Depression and Robin Williams And Why Funny People Kill Themselves.
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