And if you don't think that's a problem, then you're the problem. We don't want to see replies from @Carsvfefe when Cars 3 comes out in a couple weeks, so we have to be making @AlienCovfefanent accounts now. We want to reach a level of saturation well past the point of people just rolling their eyes, where more covfefe gets an angry response of "Enough already!" Like when someone makes a parody account of a 1992 animated feature called @CovfefesKids. If that just made you roll your eyes, we still have work to do.
Naturally, following anything actually creative happening, some talentless, brain-dead writer will publish a roundup article of the best examples of it. We've already seen dozens of pieces about the funniest covfefe tweets, shamelessly republishing other people's clever jokes because the writer lacks the imagination to do anything comparable on their own. Sure, they might try to embed them into a larger framework that is making some other point, but don't be fooled; what's actually entertaining about the article is just the collection of the work of other, better writers. I'm so glad I'm not a total piece of shit like that.
Anyways, these are surely the death knell for anything creative. With no fresh takes to feed the meme, it will slowly start to eat itself and waste away. It's important that we don't let up now, because the most difficult stages are still to come.
An Annoying Guy Named Geoff Using It At Work
As wonderful a gift as covfefe was, if we don't stop it now, it will become a "my wife"-sized annoyance. It could be repeated for months to come by everyone in your office who thinks he's funny and is almost certainly named Geoff. To stop this, it's important that for the next few days, you exhaust every possible reference to covfefe in casual conversation. Any time someone can't think of a word for something, helpfully offer up, "Covfefe?" If something in the printer is broken, tell your office manager to order a new covfefe. When your sales numbers are down, tell your boss, "Despite the constant negative growth, covfefe."
As you pack up your cubicle and everyone wonders why you threw your career away for a bunch of annoying, played-out jokes, shake your head and say to yourself, "No. I'm doing the Lord's covfefe."
Your Parents Telling You About It As Though You Might Not Have Heard About It
Finally, as covfefe is on its last legs, begging to be put out of its misery, it will suffer one last indignity: being completely mangled or misused by one of or both your parents. On the one hand, it will break your heart to see something so beloved be so misunderstood. On the other hand, it will be a merciful end to a beautiful meme. On the third hand, a video of your parents misusing covfefe could get you a few more likes, because misusing covfefe should literally be impossible and yet they're doing it. And on the fourth hand, I'm bad at metaphors.
So smile when your dad asks, "Do you like your fefe warm? Or do you prefer ... coldfefe." Not because it will be funny. It really very much won't. Smile because it's being released from this world and you can remember it for the beautiful meme it was. Because despite the constant negative overuse, covfefe.
Wait, never mind, it already happened:
Aaron Kheifets is a nice young man with a Twitter he wishes you'd follow.
For more, check out 7 Memes That Went Viral Before The Internet Existed and The 9 Most Obnoxious Memes to Ever Escape the Web.
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