You release your 1,000 pages of emails to everyone you know and someone eventually finds this incriminating Shagga-Mothgore email. Suddenly everyone is abuzz! "Oh my God, did you hear that Pete worships He Who Rends Flesh and Feasts on Hope? I knew he was an asshole!"
And people will believe it. Because it's in the middle of 1,000 boring pages of shit no one cares about. So it must be true. But why do we believe it whole hog like that? Because we want to believe things. In fact, science historian and founder of the Skeptic's Society Michael Shermer would argue it's a survival instinct that we do believe rather than disbelieve. If we believe it and it's untrue, oh well, we look silly. If we disbelieve it and it is true, Pete and that asshole Shagga-Mothgore could show up at the door this Sunday and swallow our souls. The better option is to be cautious and believe something, our lives may just depend on it. And if not our lives, then surely our country. Freedom itself is at stake. And that's what Russian hacking does -- it makes you fear your entire world is in jeopardy. So you must do whatever it takes to preserve freedom and order, and that means voting for the other guy.
If there's one thing American media is good at, it's giving us stories about what celebrities choose to wear as though anyone whose soul isn't made of pube-encrusted bubble gum could care a fraction of a shit about such things. The other thing they excel at is bullshit. Media bias is so prevalent the idea of news is basically laughable at this point and the 24-hour networks should just be called "Pumping Smoke Up Your Ass with Chappy McFuckYouSay." And that goes for both sides of the fence, since both left- and right-leaning news sites are left- and right-handed hand jobs.
"Now if you could try both pockets at the same time."
The big problem with media bias is not that it exists so much as people want it to exist. Twitter is the best place in the world to watch this play out. Thanks to the 140-character limit, you can watch people shut down in three sentences or less when confronted with challenging news.
"We can confirm someone is doing something, just not who or what."
If a story supports an opposing ideology or public figure, people will shit on it immediately. No time for nuance or well-thought-out argument and consideration. No room for the possibility that a thing might exist in the world we don't like but still must accept. Instead, fuck it. Lies. Fake news. Not real. Replace it with the news that gently places its plump, rosy lips on our glistening, puckered assholes and proceeds to rim the pain of reality away with stories that tell us what we already think.
Now the extension of media bias on a long enough timeline is that, when you're used to only hearing things you're already inclined to believe, whether these are good things about your political party, for instance, or bad things about the other guys, you become conditioned to believe everything you hear because you're refusing to listen to anything that challenges you. And that's just how a Russian hacker, or an unscrupulous cop, or some shitheel from an airline, can come in and fuck you. You primed yourself without even realizing it. You're now conditioned to swallow heaping spoonfuls of BS with a big, ol' grin and a side of house salad with that shitty dressing that has too much oil in it.
Or on the side of the road with that canned cheese. Sorry for the disgusting food metaphors; I am really hungry.
Now more than ever you need to be skeptical about anything you hear online, on the news, or from a politician, especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable or even too comfortable. Everyone with something to gain is trying to pull a fast one on you. Don't let them. But just to be safe, you should send me all your money so I can keep it safe for you. You can trust me.
For more check out 5 Reasons The Future Will Be Ruled By BS and 5 Types Of 'Scientific' Evidence You Won't Believe Are BS
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