better than us, Boss."
"What's the site?"
"Some Mom-and-Pop piece of shit called '
Google.' I'd never even heard of them before, I had to Lycos the name just to find out. It seems they're a search module of some kind." Jack just kept staring at me, probably shocked at the audacity of this lameass, dipshit website for jerks. I continued. "Now, Boss, it's important to let these dicks know that Cracked will
not be bullied. We need to send a message that sends these dicks right back home to Dicksburg, Dickslyvania, crying to their dick-Mommies with their dicks hangin' outta their dicks." I don't really know anything about human anatomy.
"Google, Dan? What exactly is Google doing to bully us?"
"I'm glad you asked. I have here with me a series of pictures that prove Google thinks they're better than us. You see, Jumpin' Jack Flash, the Cracked offices are located in this big building, right? This building happens to be the exact same building that these Google fools, ("foogles") decided to move into. Here, take a look at these pictures." I handed him a stack of photographs.
"Well, already I hate this. The first picture is a naked one of you."
"Oh, yeah, you can go ahead and keep that; I've got, like, a million. I'm using them as business cards."
"There's no contact number or email," Jack said.
"More like
cocktact number, am I right?" And
email-genitalia, right gang? "But seriously, Boss, keep checking out the pictures."
"See, now here's what the Cracked headquarters looks like:"

This is seriously my office.
"And here's what the fucking Google headquarters looks like:"

What's a matter, Dicks? You couldn't just write 'Google' once? Dicks!?!

Google has two floors.So did the Nazi's.
"I'm not sure I see what the problem is," Jack said. Poor, simple Jack.
"I think it's pretty clear.
They think they're better than us. They've got all their flash and flair, and they think that it makes them a superior website. Let me ask you something, when was the last time Google hit the front page of Digg?