Their ONLY resources are "posting bullshit to social media" and they still suck at it.
That is the least problem-solving group in the world. Don't tell over-stressed workers buried under debt and unpaid overtime that taking a break would be good for them, because they're not allowed to break your face. You want to help people? Get minimum income going. That fixes so much more than your smug reminder that maybe a day at the beach would be great. It's pretty easy to discuss the importance of vacations at your job when that's your entire job.
Why Aren't Millennials Buying Diamonds?
That's the question asked by The Economist, which makes you wonder if they even know what a millennium is or have noticed anything since this one started. Imagine Good Cooking Monthly asking "Why don't we use basilisk venom?" in a guest column by Lord Voldemort. Because it kills people and everything the asshole has ever told us about it is fictional.
Wenceslaus Hollar via Wikimedia Commons
Mmm, tastes like Basilisk.
The depression of the diamond trade is a wonderful example of millennial success. Before the internet, your only information about diamonds came from the people advertising them and other people agreeing that you should be impressed. But now, we know so much more about almost everything. True, many people still don't give a shit about most of it, but there is still more shit-giving than there used to be, and it will only increase as a new generation embraces their magic boxes which tell us about anything, anywhere, any time. Making silicon chips far more beautiful than carbon crystals.
"Yeah, we're always looking at our phones because they tell us when you're TALKING SHIT."
Diamonds do have a few genuine uses (like creating twice the pressure of our planet's core and forcing matter into new phases with an awesome Diamond Anvil). Which is why we're making artificial diamonds which are superior in almost every way and getting better all the time. This may be the most flawless combination of improving technologies and exterminating an exploitative industry. The diamond industry blaming millennials is a real-world Scooby-Doo plot, an old industry getting annoyed at the inquisitive kids for seeing through some false advertising and trick lighting.
None of which excuses The Economist, which paints the picture of a bored hypillionaire chewing fried genetically-reconstructed dodo wings as they discuss how a huge new diamond ripped from Botswana might possibly "enhance the image of an industry that is struggling to sell to the "millennial" generation. Young consumers increasingly shun the taint of conflict and exploitation." I've never read a paragraph which so clearly contained the word "insolent" without actually using it, holding even the concept of a new generation in quotation marks as if it was something platinum tongs pulled from the sole of their diamond shoes.
Scratching the shit out of steel-toed boots.
Diamond merchants are never, ever the struggling party in any situation they encounter. Anyone referring to the next generation as "young consumers" is their enemy by default. Then theres the discussion of them shunning the "taint" of conflict and exploitation as if they were fussy infants who've suddenly decided they don't like the color of their baby food.
Why aren't millennials buying diamonds? Because millennials can see through the bullshit.
Luke describes how The Cassini Probe Proves We're Not Living in the Matrix, and Scientists Announcing A Warp Drive.
Enjoy more millennial fun with 6 Shady Ways The Media Makes Millennials Look Like Idiots and 5 Complaints About Modern Teens That Are Statistically BS.
Luke writes ZERO POINT COMEDY science humor, has a mailing list, and responds to every single tweet.
Learn how the generation gap makes it impossible for us to all get along in 5 Lies Millennials And Baby Boomers Believe About Each Other.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and find out why we're lost in a sea of confusion in The Worst Advice To Get In Your '20s, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also follow us on Facebook -- all ages welcome.