This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Apple is constantly pushing new toys and innovations that you probably don't need, but damn, if you don't want them so bad. "They're so expensive, but still I must obtain them all," you roar every night. Fortunately, there's good news. There are plenty of off-brand alternatives (and refurbished Apple goodies) to help you stay at the top of the tech game without going broke.
This modern and durable computer stand can elevate your iMac so you can focus on your work a little better. It's also integrated with an enhanced charging port that can power your devices up to four times faster than conventional ports.
Get it now for 8% off $159 at $144.99.
What's the four-in-one, you ask? Is it some kind of quirky fast food special that combines four different kinds of cow organs? Better! This thing has a Lightning adapter, an aux input for plugging in your headphones (because Apple completely removed the headphone jack on new devices), and a fast-charging and data transmission port. They've added the convenience back to Apple products.
Get it now for 55% off $19.99 at just $8.99.
The Magic Trackpad basically functions as a mouse, except it remains stationary while you run your finger across it. You know, it's like the thing on your laptop, only bigger and to the side, and it lets you do more cool actions by swiping and stuff.
Get it now for 49% off $99 at just $49.99.
This one isn't even an accessory, but a full-blown computer! In fact, the mini is so great because it's the size of an accessory, so you can take it anywhere and hook it up to any monitor. And with 8 GB of memory, you're basically Ultron without the murderous bent and unsightly face.
Get it now for 27% off $479 at just $349.
You like magic, do ya? Well, not only are Apple's mouse and keyboard magic, in the sense that they work really well (hey, if swallowing a key and then spitting it back out counts as magic, then this does too), but this deal is so great that it might as well have been conjured by a wizard.
Get both now for 61% off $208 at just $79.99.
If you're in the market for a new computer, then you're going to be hard-pressed to beat an iMac. This sweet 21.5" desktop setup features a powerful Intel Core processor, a 250 GB hard drive, and 4 GB of RAM to help you breeze through all of your projects. Plus, look at how pretty that screen is.
Get it now for 68% off $1,199 at just $379.
If you're one of those people who wants to be productive on the bus or train, or if you just need to get through the 50-minute commute without making eye contact with Crazy Wally, then you need to get an iPad. Why not get a refurbished one and save a bunch of money?
Get it now for 55% off $378 at just $169.99.
The MacBook Pro is Apple's flagship laptop for a good reason. It's sleek, powerful, and probably the biggest factor in why the Muggle world puts the Wizarding world to absolute shame. Like, seriously, how are they still using owls? Score a great deal on an older version that still features 128 GB of space and 8 GB of RAM today.
Get it now for a special $599 price, reduced from $650, which is $150 off the $799 list price.
Prices are subject to change.
Not an Apple fan? Not a problem. This Acer Chromebook 11" C740-C4PE 16 GB -- Black (Certified Refurbished) and Dell Chromebook 11 11.6" 16 GB -- Grey (Certified Refurbished) make Google's affordable laptops even cheaper.
Because you know what they say: It's New To You! Check Out These 10 Refurbished Computers.
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.