Nothing screams "mature" like deteriorating vision and an increase in middle of the night bathroom trips. The Shark Tank-featured Illumibowl is the perfect compliment to both of these ... eh, we'll call them "distinguished" ... attributes of elderhood. This motion-activated, multicolored nightlight rests within your toilet bowl, guiding you to the throne in the middle of the night like the light at the end of the tunnel. Get the Illumibowl 2.0 here for $12.99.
Build-On Brick Mug
Look, we know we made a bit of hoopla about faking your way into adulthood, but just because your youth is over doesn't mean your imagination has to die with it. This plastic chalice is covered in Lego-compatible studs and holes so you can turn your coffee mug into a spaceship covered in skeletons, or the individual heads of every character from Lord Of The Rings. Yes, we realize a mug made out Legos is a bit on the whimsical side, but throw a coaster under this bad boy and you'll get more maturity points than any mug can buy you. Grab it here for $19.99.