This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
You probably plan on doing at least one outdoor activity this summer, whether it's looking for Bigfoot, looking for treasure, or teaming up with the Loch Ness Monster to look for Bigfoot's treasure. Regardless of the levels of Bigfoot in your plans, the Cracked Store now has ten items (for cheap) that are built to help you become one with nature, or just have a rad camping trip.
Flashlights are an essential tool to pack on any outdoor trip, and until science finds a way to grant humans night vision (gene splicing with possums who eat a lot of carrots, maybe), they are going to stay that way. If you want the best flashlights out there, then you're going to want to get your hands on the Viper 1000-Lumen Tactical Flashlights. They're virtually indestructible, and have several different brightness settings, plus a strobe effect in case you need to throw an impromptu rave with all of your possum pals. Click here now to get a two-pack for $29.99, 75 percent off the standard retail price of $119.99.
But what happens when a flashlight alone just isn't enough? Like, what if there is a long-term power outage or you fall into the Upside Down? Well in that case, you need the Army Gear Ultimate LED Bundle, which includes a flashlight, a headlamp, and an electric lantern. These LED lights are lightweight and weatherproof, making them ideal for whatever storm comes your way. Click here right dang now to get them at 74 percent off their standard retail price of $99.99 for just $25.
Going on an outdoors vacation is thirsty work, so keep yourself hydrated with the 1Tac 1Hydro series filtration bottle. This water bottle has a built-in filter, allowing you to drink refreshing bacteria-free water no matter where your camper breaks down. You can get one right now for just $29.99, 25 percent off its normal retail price of $39.99. Mmmm, water.
The LuminAID PackLite Max 2-in-1 Phone Charger is the type of campsite essential that leaves all the Ron Swansons of the world open-mouthed and drooling. It's a portable lantern with a built-in battery that uses solar power to recharge, so you can keep your campsite fully illuminated all night long. It also doubles as a phone charger, so you can keep your devices fully juiced without having to haul around a bunch of portable battery packs and/or a station wagon with a car adapter. Click here now to get the PackLite Max for just $34.99, 30 percent off the standard retail price of $50.
Let's say something goes wrong on your trip. Perhaps your camper careens off the road into a wooded canyon, or you stumble into a time rift and find yourself in the forests of West Virginia 300 years ago. You're going to be glad you have an Army Gear 10-in-1 Survival and Camping Kit. This kit contains the ten most useful items in an outdoors survival situation, including a tactical knife, thermal blanket, flint fire starter, emergency signal whistle, and even a tactical pen. Sadly, there's no time machine function to get you back into the present -- yet. This kit normally retails for $90, but right now, you can get it for just $29.99, a 66 percent discount.
If you're as terrible at packing as we are, chances are you could use the Rolo Travel Bag. No, this clothes tube doesn't include gobs of caramel and chocolate, but it does have convenient compartments for your stuff, and besides, chocolate in your suitcase can and will get messy. Simply roll this sucker up for easy transport, and you're good to go on any trip. You don't even have to unpack it; you can just hang the bag from any closet rod or tree branch to create your own portable wardrobe. Click here now to get the Rolo Travel Bag for $42.99, 14 percent off the standard retail price of $49.99.
If nothing else, the Saberlight Thunderblade Tactical Arc Lighter has to have the coolest name of any product we sell. But is DOES have something else, as this lighter is perfect for starting campfires and even better at ensuring that you have the raddest light at the concert. The lighter functions in wind or rain, plus it doubles as a pocket knife in case that boar still has some fight left in it. Click here now to get the Saberlight Thunderblade for $25.99, 48 percent off the standard retail price of $49.99.
The most important thing to bring on any outdoor adventure is a selection of rockin' tunes, and you need to be able to listen to them rain or shine (or if it comes to it, submerged in a capsized canoe). The G-DROP Adventure-Ready Submersible Bluetooth Speaker is waterproof and connects to any of your devices via Bluetooth connection. Get one now for just $35, 30 percent off the retail price of $50.
When it comes to snorkeling, you either snorkel hard or you snorkel home. OK, we didn't think this catchphrase through, but our point still stands. Snorkeling is extreme, and you're definitely going to want the Full Face Snorkel when you attempt it. With anti-fog protection and a wide 180-degree view that doesn't obstruct your peripheral vision, this is the only mask that will allow you to see all the gorgeous ocean life around you (plus any sea critters trying to sneak up on you). This mask will normally run you $129.99, but you can get one now for just $55, a 57 percent discount.
Here's a riddle for you: If a vacation happens in the forest and no one is around to 'gram it, did you actually catch that 20-pound catfish? No one knows the answer for sure, but you're going to want to get the XtremePro 4K Ultra HD Action Cam in order to avoid taxing your brain with such perplexing philosophical dilemmas ever again. This camera records in ultra hi-def 4K, and comes with several mounts and a waterproof case, allowing you to film pretty much anything from whatever vantage point you want. Get one now for $69.99, 53 percent off the retail price of $149.99.
And remember, every day is a gift, but you will definitely Make This Summer One To Remember With These 10 Buys.
Whose job is it to solve crimes?
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
The most unrealistic thing about fictional villains is that they don't get arrested until the plot calls for it.