This piece was written by the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Spring is coming around the corner, and with it comes spring cleaning. So if you want to Marie Kondo yourself down to fewer than 30 books without making a bonfire of unread materials, you're going to have to start reading fast. But who has time to read, especially when there's a new Overwatch event just around the corner?
Turns out reading doesn't have to be as time-consuming as all that. With the help of these classes, you can power through those books faster than a 12-year-old can snipe your brains out in Overwatch.
Speed reading is more than a cheap parlor trick, like solving a Rubik's cube or knowing how Congress works. It's actually a complex series of skills. And like any other particular set of skills, it takes a good amount of time and effort to master. Luckily, the 2019 Award-Winning Speed Reading Bundle will teach you all of them.
First, there's Speed Reading EX 2019, which teaches you strategies and skills to master reading efficiency. Then there's Vocab1, which doubles your vocabulary with important GRE, SAT, and GMAT words that you can also use to impress cute Shakespeare nerds at all those sexy Shakespeare conventions you go to. Finally, there's Spreeder, which teaches you the physical skills you need to improve your reading speed, like minimizing eye movement and stimulating natural reader flow (Which is kinda like musical flow, but nerdier.)
These classes have a $669 value altogether, but can be yours for just $19 -- that's 97 percent off.
Once you have these foundational skills, how do you put them to the test? Like Luke Skywalker leaving Yoda's swamp, you are looking for a challenge, and we have one for you. The Become A Speed Reading Machine: Read 300 Books This Year challenge explains why it's so important to put in the time to read books and internalize their information. Plus, it'll teach you how to take the information you learned from those books and turn it into money. And speaking of which, here's a neat money-saving trick: This $195 class is available in the Cracked store for just $25.
Look! We also have a special deal on a Scribd Subscription in the Cracked store! This is unlimited access to 40 million titles on mobile or desktop and, we dunno, the Jedi texts might be there? We haven't checked. But this $107.88 subscription is temporarily available for only $85, probably because Ghost Yoda burnt it real bad with a lightning bolt.
Can't get enough of the written word? Read, Just, ALL Of The Books With These 5 Bundles.
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.