Now, don't take everything I said about the Kardashians benefiting more from their father's fame than his money to mean that I'm implying they had zero help in that department. Way before the sex tapes and reality shows, Kim Kardashian started and ran various businesses (eBay stores, closet organizing, etc.), funded mostly by money she got from her father. Here's the thing, though: He didn't just give her the money. He loaned it to her, with the stipulation that she pay him back with interest. That he was able to do that certainly gave her a leg up in the world, but it's also something she could have just as easily accomplished by going to a bank.
If her father's financial success played any role in her current fortune, it probably had a lot more to do with him teaching her the value of using the money you have to make more money, which is precisely what he did for himself by giving her that loan. With all that in mind, think about the few non-image related compliments people sometimes begrudgingly offer up about Kim Kardashian. She's smart. She knows how to run a business. We're talking about a woman who made an estimated $28 million last year, most of it coming from the various business ventures she's launched as a means of monetizing her fame.
Kim Kardashian: Hollywood
How to spot a potentially profitable investment opportunity is an instinct she likely picked up from her father, and it's something she'd probably be doing even if she never became famous. That people would watch if she made a media spectacle out of her everyday life, however, is something she learned from us. We're the ones who showed her that people will pay attention to you if they like you, and that even more people will pay attention if they hate you. That the public's fascination with the OJ trial turned her dad into a famous person just for going to work proved that decades ago, and we prove it's still true to this day every time her reality show is renewed for another season.
If you're the type who sees the name Kim Kardashian and immediately seeks out the first face you can shout "What does she even do?" at ...
Todd Wright/Blend Images/Getty Images
... eventually you must realize that you're the answer to your own question. In her most basic of roles, Kim Kardashian attracts attention, negative or otherwise, in a way that makes people want to say something. All those blogs and magazines and news sites don't talk about Kim Kardashian because they care about her, they do it because you care about her, and the frustrated comments you leave and the links you anger-share on your Facebook page do nothing to make that less true.
I don't give a good goddamn if she ever loses a bit of her popularity, but if that's a thing you'd like to actively participate in bringing about, just shutting the fuck up and going about your day when faced with news about her would go a long way toward making that happen.
Send your hate mail to Adam on Twitter @adamtodbrown.
The debate over Kim Kardashian rages on at Cracked. See Chris Bucholz's take in Is Kim Kardashian An Idiot? An Objective Analysis. But then Adam Tod Brown jumps to her defense once again in The 5 Most Undeservedly Hated Famous People Of 2013. Adam Tod Brown defends the Kardashians with more conviction than a Kardashian defending OJ Simpson.
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