, San Francisco Assemblyman Tom Ammiano bravely introduced reasoned, serious legislation about confronting, revising, and ultimately turning Californiaâs oppressive marijuana laws to our benefit. In these trying economic times, it just makes sense. Thatâs why Iâm throwing my full support behind Assemblyman Ammiano, and in fact, to honor his brave act, Iâm going to take ten massive bong rips before continuing to write this.
There. The deed is done.
And before all you conservative naysayers start accusing me of "devilry," allow me to prove without a doubt that the legalization of marijuana sales will actually
decrease crime and overall drug use
. This assumption is based on three basic arguments.
1. Legalizing marijuana will put drug cartels out of business
Every year, hundreds of people are maimed and killed and millions of dollars are lost to brutal and organized illegal drug traffickers. By legalizing and intelligently regulating marijuana consumption we can make it so that this doesnât happen because all those people who did that now have no jobs. Also there will be less people in our jails. My word is it hot here. It's like the room temperature just jumped 20 degrees. Let's see, where was I ... Ah yes.