Recently, the writer of the upcoming movie based on Monopoly discussed the plot and what we can expect in the movie. In the movie, a "lovable loser" is really good at Monopoly and "they kid him about this girl and they're playing the game and there's this big fight," then... wait for it... he wakes up inside the game! As far as I can tell, this Monopoly movie is just a poor man's Jumanji movie, which is just a poor man's Clue movie, which is a good movie. Remember how Clue doesn't involve the actual board game Clue and doesn't have characters going into said board game and eventually escaping said board game until all the characters have said "board game" enough to make you realize you're watching a movie written by 5th graders for 2nd graders? Remember how that didn't happen?
metaphor The writer says in his synopsis that he tries to have all these little nods to the game like "a sports car pulls up, there's someone on a horse, someone pushing a wheelbarrow," because when I think of Monopoly, I think "sports car." And I'm pretty sure however many characters you have Rich Uncle Pennybags play (he describes four), the "nod to the game" is the fact that the protagonist plays the game and, you know, goes inside the game. I was "lucky" enough to be the writer's assistant during the inception of this film, and will now give you a firsthand look at the inner workings of Hollywood magic. This is how it went down, to the best of my made up recollection. "Are we still going ahead with that Monopoly movie?" "Absolutely, sir." "Do we have a story yet?" "You're the writer." "I know, but... do you have any ideas?" "Actually, I do. It would kind of take into account our current economic climate. The game Monopoly is based on real estate, capitalism, getting out of jail for free, going bankrupt, and buying things with fake money, so it would be kind of a deconstruction and play on our prison system, banking/credit system, real estate.... And it would all be in front of the cartoonish backdrop of the Monopoly game. I think it could be a really silly and occasionally pointed satire. Also, we can use songs like Money by Pink Floyd or Money by The Beatles or Money by-" "Leave the writing to the writers, Cody. You're not a writer. You're an internet comedy writer." "You asked me..." "What else do we have?" "We have this DVD of Jumanji..." "Do we have a DVD player?" "No, sir." "Do you remember what happens in it?" "In Jumanji, sir?" "YES, in Jumanji." "The game comes alive or they go in the game or something." "Did they mention Monopoly in it?" "I don't think so, sir." "So, theoretically, if we were to have the game come alive or have someone go into the game or whatever, but it's with Monopoly... it won't have been done before?" "Technically no, but-" "What should we call the place he wakes up in?" "Well, if it's a city and it's based on Monopoly, I would say-" "Monopoly City! PERFECT!" "Actually, I was going to say Monopolis, because... you know... Metropolis... City... Monopoly... Monopolis?" "Monopoly City it is. You're a genius. The other day, my friends were teasing me about a girl. Could we put that in there?" "I mean, yeah, we could put that in there, but what does that even mean? The guy's friends-" "-Tease him about a girl, yes." "..."
"We should also have villains." "Like-" "-The Parker Brothers. Brilliant." "How does that-" "And they'll play each other in a game of Monopoly IN the game of Monopoly." "Fine, but can we at least call it Monopoly 1: Jumanji 2?" "Why?" "Because it would be hilarious." "I'll think about it." "Do you have an ending yet, sir?" "I do, indeed." "Can I guess it?" "CORRECTLY?!? I doubt it!" "Our schlubby hero defeats the Parker Brothers (with a little help from Rich Uncle Pennybags!) and saves Monopoly Town or Townopoly or whatever, then he wakes up because it's probably a dream the whole goddamn time like in
"Can I pitch a movie to you, sir?" "Anytime, champ." "It's called Board Game and- "More like Bored Game." "..." "..." "It's about this guy with a name that rhymes with "sorry" and he's a real nerd when it comes to the game SORRY! The thing is, though, he's really impolite and never says "sorry" in his regular life, only he
"I love it." "There would also be dialogue, probably." "Either way." Later that day I was promoted to King of Movies. Even later that day, though, I got my hand cut off and I had to use the Force to get my sister to come pick me up. That's from Star Wars.- -King of Movies