On May 21, President Obama and Dick Cheney faced off on the issue of torture with back-to-back speeches. With the respect due to such an important topic, I've faithfully transcribed the speeches here in the form of a high-action comic adventure.
Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.
How did these hyper-specific tropes spread so quickly?
The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.
It's easy to work the system and win these awards even if you don't deserve them.