Oh, I see, it looks like he forgot to dance first. A real treat, he performs a traditional Armenian Werepanther dance of three seconds of full body wiggle, meerkat, meerkat, and super spin. During the super spin, the fake microphone he had in his back pocket flies out, almost certainly because he meant it to. NOW, he struts up the judges to shirtlessly whisper "X-Centric!" Lady viewers, remove your X-Centric brand vibrators and, as quickly as possible, sit in your bucket of X-Centric brand cooling gel before serious injury occurs.
Singing! When X-Centric finally sings his original X-Centric song, it's sort of a rap battle between a baby and its multiple personalities. If the baby had asthma and sang like a little bitch. Ultimate face!!
Youtube - Rowr!
and the number one...
1. Marc Griffin
Everything good has already been invented. You can buy hot dogs with cheese in the center, dolls with vaginas, and hundreds of combinations of all four. So on the show American Inventor, most people come in with a pile of junk and a story about how patent lawyers took all their money and left them with only a prototype for Mayonnaise Mittens, the gloves that make sandwiches safe.
Marc Griffin stood above them all. He sold everything he owned to make BulletBall. BulletBall combines the fun of air hockey with the misplacement of all your air hockey equipment. In it, two players bat a ball across a coffee table and the winner is the one who does the best! Sometimes the best ideas are simple ones.
He invented the game 26 years ago with his ex-wife, a lot of wine, and a cat toy. Coincidentally, those were the exact three things used to invent the first tampon. Wait, I think it wasn't an ex-wife until right after
the invention process.
Marc is certain that BulletBall will be an Olympic sport. Not only because it's high caliber and for the 21st century, but because it's age and gender neutral. No listen-- no matter who or what you are, you're as good at BulletBall as anyone who will ever live. If you want proof, I found these pictures of Marc on his website
playing BulletBall as hard as he can against disinterested people in wheelchairs. "Who's the BULLETBALL MASTER!!??"
Where is he now? Marc is still selling and rapping about BulletBall and BulletBall extreme tables. He's even dropped the price for a limited time
from $399.99 to only $299.99. Sorry, poor people, but Marc was a little busy inventing sports to learn how supply and demand work. If you want to bat a cat toy around, you'll have to do it on a knockoff BulletBall table, also sometimes known as any table.
Youtube - BulletBall, BulletBall, that's a BulletBall!
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