As a superhero, the Thing's main strength is his strength. His weakness? Tautologies. According to whoever wrote his Wikipedia entry, he's "one of the most recognizable and popular comic book characters," which I'm guessing is a polite way of saying that he's a bit less popular than Batman, Superman, Spiderman, most of the X-Men, Iron Man, the rest of the X-Men, and several dozen others.
Graphics: 1/5 (Based on his appearance in the 1967 series. I refuse to watch him in any other medium.)
Sound: "It's clobberin' time."
Fun Factor: 4/5 (Pretty fun, I'd think. He looks like he's ready for a big day at the pool there.)
Thing (The Addams Family)
Thing was a disembodied hand that roamed the Addams family's mansion, where he served as the Addams family's handservant, because that was basically the limit of 1960s joke technology.
"Hey. Come here. Come here. Come here. f**k you. Our writers were trying their best."
Similarly, 1960s special effects technology limited him to mostly appearing from behind curtains or out of conveniently placed boxes. It wasn't until the 1990s film remakes that Thing was able to achieve his full potential as a mobile molestation device and walk around on his fingers.
"I'mma comin' molest you."
Graphics: 2/5 (1960s box + curtain technology version); 4/5 (1990s skittering nightmare version.)
Sound: Fap fap fap.
Fun Factor: 5/5 (Thing is the only Thing on this list that I'd be comfortable receiving a sexual favor from, although the Icelandic parliament came close.)
Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and your best friend. Join him on Facebook or Twitter to see all the pictures of his thing that he's posted.