The One Terrifying War Nobody Is Talking About

By:
The One Terrifying War Nobody Is Talking About

Recently, I was on a 3 a.m. Google binge, trying to track down the true reptilian faces of U.S. politicians. I didn't find any, because they have become experts at internet subterfuge. But I stumbled upon something equally terrible. Don't ask me how I found it, because I don't want them to come after me ... but I discovered that politicians have been in a secret war with birds, and the attacks are horrifying. And it's high time that the public knew about it.

Birds Vs. POliticians: DECLASSTFPED George W. Bush Washington, DC- The traditional pardoning of a Thanksgiving turkey sets man and fowl at odds when t

Birds Vs. Politicians: Sarah Palin DECLASSTFPED CLaser Wasilla, Alaska A kooky aspiring vice president attempts a turkey pardoning do-over, saving one

Birds Vs. Politicians: Pope Francis The Vatican -Pope Francis recruits double agents to terrorize a false showing of peace. Doves are duped into the c

Birds Vs. Politicians: Oregon State Capitol s CLASSIIDED o S. Salem 1 Salem, Oregon Owls beset themselves on the heads of passing government workers i

Birds VS. Politicians: Parliament Hill D ottawa, Canada Multiple assaults are conducted on the Canadian government by a dive-bombing red-winged blackb

Birds Vs. Politicians: CLASSIELIDED Recep Erdogan Rize Province, Turkey A ceremonial release of a partridge at a Turkish mosque goes awry when the cou

Birds Vs. Politicians: Alfredo Zegarra DECLASSIFTED CLASOT Plaza de Armas, Brazil - Pigeons begin to edge humans out of their natural habitat. Mayor A

The One Terrifying War Nobody Is Talking About

Birds VS. Politicians: Rob Knight DECLASSPD CLASSIBIED Northern Territory, Australia Business Minister Rob Knight becomes the target of an assault at

Birds Vs. Politicians: DE DECLASSTEPED Gordon Barrington Barton, UK - Seagulls take another shot at the human race, invading a small town and terroriz

Birds Vs. Politicians: Bernie Sanders A FUTURE TO BELIEVE IN 00 ASS Portland, Oregon Bernie Sanders uses a highprofile presidential campaign rally to

As far as I can tell, the ceasefire is still being upheld, but for how long? I suppose all we can do is hope that the peace lasts, but how far can hope take humanity in a war this brutal? Especially between two eternal natural enemies like birds and reptiles? I'm off to write a plea to my state representative. Hopefully, he is still alive.

Find out why uncertain, furry danger is around every corner in The 6 Deadliest Creatures (That Can Fit In Your Shoe) and see why humanity is losing the battle AND the war in 6 Unassuming Animals That Are Secretly Immortal.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch the war on man from the front lines in 5 Animals Who Can't Hide Their Disdain for People - Spit Take Theater, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook you damn dirty ape.

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

MUST READ

Forgot Password?