The One Terrifying War Nobody Is Talking About

Recently, I was on a 3 a.m. Google binge, trying to track down the true reptilian faces of U.S. politicians. I didn't find any, because they have become experts at internet subterfuge. But I stumbled upon something equally terrible. Don't ask me how I found it, because I don't want them to come after me ... but I discovered that politicians have been in a secret war with birds, and the attacks are horrifying. And it's high time that the public knew about it.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

As far as I can tell, the ceasefire is still being upheld, but for how long? I suppose all we can do is hope that the peace lasts, but how far can hope take humanity in a war this brutal? Especially between two eternal natural enemies like birds and reptiles? I'm off to write a plea to my state representative. Hopefully, he is still alive.

Find out why uncertain, furry danger is around every corner in The 6 Deadliest Creatures (That Can Fit In Your Shoe) and see why humanity is losing the battle AND the war in 6 Unassuming Animals That Are Secretly Immortal.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch the war on man from the front lines in 5 Animals Who Can't Hide Their Disdain for People - Spit Take Theater, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook you damn dirty ape.

To turn on reply notifications, click here

147 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

4 Crazy Ways The Human Body's Changing In Our Own Lifetimes

Our bodies are changing.

125

5 Celebrities With Arguably More Interesting Parents

Many of today's celebrities have some real surprises in their family trees.

81

5 Meltdowns That Went Viral Before The Internet Existed

Everybody loves a good old-fashioned meltdown.

86

5 Iconic Movies Saved By Last-Minute Changes

Some of your favorite movie moments were added months after everyone went home.

109

5 'Romantic Triangle' Characters We Just Feel Sorry For

Fictional love triangles are always a rigged game.

150

5 Actors Who Keep Playing Weirdly Specific Roles

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result.

84