"It's the big red one, ma! NO! NOT THE LITTLE RED 'A'! DAMMIT, MA!"
The frustration of that builds with every passing second in which your well-meaning parents don't understand that all they've got to do is hit one clearly marked button. One button, that's it! It's right there, dad. Mom, please, the button isn't in another room. Good Lord. Why would you even think that?
Now imagine if that was your entire life. Everywhere you go you encounter at least one person who distrusts or even hates you because of something as simple, uncomplicated, and uncontroversial as your race. Think of the super-human levels of patience and acceptance, the near saintly degree of tranquility one would need to not lose their fucking mind every day.
The lack of understanding when it comes to that one point informs the public reaction to these recent news stories -- stories that have given people reason to be just a bit gross as they hide their true feelings behind the "They're ruining their own cause!" argument. You don't have to agree with their approaches (I don't), but you have to at least understand why people choose to express their anger more viscerally. It's not because they're stupid or they don't know any better. It's because they're angry, more angry than you've ever been, about things you will never truly understand. Ever. Right now, screaming at everyone is the only thing keeping some people centered in the midst of confusion. In every protest movement there is always a faction that believes giving into the easy appeal of anger, rage, and even violence is the best response. It more than likely isn't. But the logic behind it is difficult to argue against: For years we spoke and were ignored. Will they keep ignoring us if we scream and make a mess, if we disrupt lives and precious schedules just so we can finally be heard?
People think hate is only when Hitler is screaming from a podium or the Klan is burning a cross on a lawn. It can also be a concerned, caring tone that masks contempt. It could be a patronizing moral stance from someone who has the right intention but whose life did not prepare them to truly know what they're talking about. Of the two, the second person is the most prevalent right now. It's a group of people who have a macro view of right and wrong, informed by their lives being devoid of a grander form of struggle. To them, right and wrong are clearly defined, because it's all theory, general concepts. It's like zooming way out in Google Maps and seeing a solid digital line showing what has to be a street, but then you zoom in all the way and it's a dirt road that at one point disappears into a marsh.