They fail to mention that the question you will be asking is, "What else is there to do?" There are only so many times you can play miniature golf while getting bored of a t-shirt, and there are only so many times you can miniature golf in your newest t-shirt. The place seemed to be built as a tourist attraction extravaganza, except all of the tourists live pretty close by. So what do you do? Do you go to Dollywood or do you... I'm sorry, I'm not even going to finish the question. The answer is "feed 5 live bears."
Yes, reader, even you can feed 5 live bears. All we had to do was get in line and check our logic/compassion at the door, because we were almost immediately handed a Styrofoam bowl filled with chocolate mini-donuts and a couple of apple slices (to be fair, the sign didn't say "Feed 5 live bears what bears eat"). We were then shuffled into a scorching hot tank/cage filled with what looked like bear corpses. Near those bear corpses were waterless puddles in which the bears could gingerly place their miserable faces, as if to say "Something's missing grrrrr I'm a bear." Apple slices and chocolate mini-donuts were strewn about on the floor of the bear's natural habitat (cement), and everything was suddenly sad. Referring to the attraction as feeding "live" bears was, I think, the establishment's way of saying "f**k you" to their horribly malnourished bears. And referring to it as the only place to feed live bears was, I think, their way of saying "f**k you" to real men.
Real men feed bears to themselves.