"Of course not!" Geoff hollered, and attempted to put all of his fingers into his mouth. He spoke with remarkable clarity around the stuffed digits. "You'll only have 10, after we brainstorm."
"This is madne-" the man began, but was cut short by another ElliptiGO stampede.
"Sometime last night -- right after the screaming started -- I got to thinking," Geoff continued, the flesh of his cheeks undulating with his own wriggling fingers. "You know who we haven't fucked in a while?"
"Whoa-ho-ho," Chaz said, gritting his teeth through the pain. His calves were really starting to feel the burn -- in fact, all of his skin was kind of burning, now that he thought about it. "Geoff, honeybutt, sugardick: This isn't the annual retreat to Phnom Penh. You can't go around saying stuff like that in front of the Normals."
"Look at them all down there, like ants. Like ants you can molest for $6 an hour."
"I mean metaphorically, Ironic Esse! We really need to shake up the scene to get at the kids today. You know -- mess with their memories, wobble them loose from their jaded little media comas. And I know just how to do it: We introduce another subpar manipulated rehash! Give them a massively inferior version of something old and irrelevant to them, rather than something new that can be all theirs. Really destroy the sense of pop culture ownership that previous generations had. Something that'll get great PR from the butthurt fanboys and nostalgia crowd, but still do a quick profit from tired parents needing two hours to bone."
"Isn't that why we have Transformers?" Chaz asked, his feet partially fusing with his bicycle. Funny, he didn't recall reading about human/machine fusion in the ElliptiGO Digitally Organic Owner's Dossier & Text Package.
"Luminous! Chaz, my baby bubeleh bitch; my empty tube of animated meat where a man should be -- you're a fucking savant! Did you see that Michael Bay thing the other day?"
"Yeah, yeah, on Nickelodeon? That was hilarious! Who let him out of the Money Cage? Was he authorized to talk about new projects?"
"Of course not! You know he can only parrot back what you say to him and make explosion noises with his mouth. Somebody must have left the door to the Kafes open, and he probably overheard two wholly different conversations about '80s cartoon shows and immigration on the way to the stage. We're just lucky he didn't start screaming racial epithets and hurling dynamite again. But you know what? We're going to do it: We're going to make his insane blathering a reality. We're going to reboot the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as aliens."