On Thursday night, The Daily Show ran a segment on Toronto Mayor Rob Ford testifying before the city council about his stance on illegal drugs after he was caught buying crack cocaine. During the segment, our friends at The Daily Show featured a picture of Rob Ford under the headline "Cracked" in our iconic font. Well, the iconic font of the Cracked magazine that's been defunct for seven years. Still, it's nice that they're acknowledging our existence...assuming they know we still exist.
Naturally, we love The Daily Show and couldn't be prouder that they would feature Cracked in such a prominent way. In honor of their clear deference to the hard work we do every day at Cracked, we would like to return the favor by pulling out our favorite moments from the illustrious 17 years of Daily Show history like a mix tape of the greatest hits of American social studies. So take a break and rest on your laurels for a minute, you brave and hilarious souls. Making brand new content every day that's consistently great isn't easy work, and we want you to know that we've noticed.
Now, you may watch that and say, "What's the big deal? That just seems like any other news report." But hang on a tick, Jack. See, Uranus, when written, is obviously referencing the planet, but when spoken ... well, let's just say it sounds like something completely different! The crazy thing about language is that some words sound similar, like "Uranus" and "your anus," and if you don't see them written or you don't have the proper context, it can get awfully confusing which one you're talking about. This segment exploits that confusion for all of us watching because we're in on the joke! But you have to be quick on the pickup. Now watch it again, and this time around we promise it will take on a whole new meaning (i.e., butts!!!)!
Jack Wagner is of course famous for his unforgettable roles on General Hospital and Melrose Place, so it's a testament to the show that he took the time out of his schedule to appear on The Daily Show. And boy does this interview start with a bang! Host Craig Kilborn talks about Wagner hosting the Miss Universe Contest and then asks how Miss Pluto did! Of course, as you'll remember, there was no Miss Pluto represented in the Miss Universe Contest in 1998 or any previous year, so that's completely absurd to ask how she did. But when you really think about it, it's ALSO absurd that they call it the "Miss Universe Contest" when Earth is the only planet represented. This was only the beginning of The Daily Show's uncanny ability to make us laugh while simultaneously pointing out the deeply rooted flaws of our culture. It's just shocking that it was so seamless right from the outset.
Look, while we run a world-famous website that can't help but pump out quality products in every conceivable medium, when we punch out at the end of the day, we're no different from you. Just some regular guys and girls who want to watch a little TV and see something that really makes us chuckle. And just like you, our favorite segment on The Daily Show has always been and will always be the "5 Questions" segment. Picking a favorite was a little like torture for us, so we finally decided, "To hell with it, let's go with the most iconic one with the most iconic celebrity." Bam, decided -- five questions proposed to Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights star Sela Ward:
What more is there to say, really, that the clip doesn't say for itself? This is just proof of what can happen when a great show collides with pure, unadulterated charisma. Just take our eyeballs and our ears, Daily Show, we don't need them anymore after this. You could have quit there, but you didn't. You kept going, and we aren't sure how to thank you for that. How does a blade of grass thank the sun?
Granted, we're cheating a little by including this little bit of lightning in a jar, but it's not our fault that one of the best segments also includes the word "Cracked" in our exact font and branding. Well, not exact. To be fair, the font and color are from Cracked magazine, a publication that used to print under the same name but which shares absolutely none of the same writing staff or comic sensibilities of the current website (but is identical in every other way)! And they used another wordplay trick to combine Ford's trouble with crack cocaine and a brand that was synonymous with second-rate, lumbering stabs at appealing to the masses. We will gladly admit that there isn't a better representation of Rob Ford, or of Cracked magazine.
But let's get real honest for a moment, Daily Show. We love you, and we love what you do because your sensibilities, your interests, and your comedy align with ours like Jon Stewart's silver sideburns, but you certainly know how hard it is to dig out from under a mediocre brand to produce a higher quality of comedy, so please don't bury us in that hole again. We're trying awfully hard over here. Hey, maybe even take some time to look through our website that's been up since 2007, you might even like it!
This should have resulted in years of therapy.
Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.
Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.