The Young Digerati: "... tech-savvy singles and couples living in fashionable neighborhoods on the urban fringe. Affluent, highly educated and ethnically mixed ... "
Young & Rustic: " ... lower income, high school-educated and living in tiny apartments in the nation's exurban towns ... lifestyles centered on sports, cars and dating."
Mobility Blues: " ... Racially mixed and under 25 years old ... Surveys show they excel in going to movies, playing basketball and shooting pool."
There's also one called "Shotguns & Pickups." You can guess who they are. But the Claritas Prizm was a Stone Age idea, developed in the '90s. Netflix can divine more about your worldview just by the shows you watch, and I can't even fathom what Google knows about me at this point. ("He's watched the same YouTube video every month for eight straight years ...")
I am 99 percent sure that for 99 percent of you, there is at least one company out there that knows you better than you know yourself, and I mean that literally. Their algorithm knows what products you binge when you're depressed, and about how far away you are from your next downturn, even if you don't. They know the simple patterns and cycles of behavior that are invisible to you ... and someday you'll know what life changes are coming based on which coupons suddenly start showing up.
I can even see a day when, if someone is destined to have a psychological break and go on some kind of gruesome crime spree, a promotional algorithm would know before anyone else. And rather than alert the police, it would just mindlessly feed those appetites, day by day, without judgment. Can you even imagine?
Jason "David Wong" Pargin is the Executive Editor at Cracked. Follow him on Twitter or on Facebook or YouTube or Instagram.
Write a show that Netflix can suggest to David Wong with a beginner's guide to Celtx.
Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
For more, check out Amazon Thinks I'm Some Sort Of Serial Killer In Training and 4 Ways To Tell If You're Creepy (Using The Internet).
Follow us on Facebook. And we'll follow you everywhere.