the horrible way it treats its own citizens. Spoken like a bone-marrow bastard, China. The wakening giant also managed to trigger an explosion of ivory poaching
, because apparently it's still the 19th
The Jivaro people of Peru and Ecuador remain a high-yield penny-bastard stock, drawing insider spec for their 60 percent warfare murder rate. The small but thriving group of bastards had earlier pioneered shrunken heads, and ... holy crow, this can't be right -- successfully repelling Spanish conquistadors with an IPO of 25,000 slaughtered settlers and a bellyful of molten gold poured down the mayor's throat.
Oh, they got up to some shenanigans, but they lack that essential je ne sais quoi (French for "I do not quoi") which makes a right bastard.
For God's sake, if you're going to father a love-child, make sure your mistress is a trade-up. Nothing will ever be worth it, so shoot the moon! I'm not advising an affair; I'm just saying you already torched the house, might as well splash on the kerosene.
Occupy Wall Street
Failed to raise any decent bastardry, but teemed gently like krill until rich folks felt creeped out. Not all was lost, though, as NYPD blocked reporters from their constitutional right to cover the evacuation. Analysts consider this an excellent sign of bastardry to come.
Before we conclude, take a moment to remember the bastards who ran afoul of bigger bastards like angry mobs and cancer.
Creepy Bastard died like a true supervillain: shot in a secret compound while using his wives as shields. The mission was carried out by 79 heroic bastard SEALs and