Griffin was charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography, but he assured police that it wasn't him. What happened was that, after using his computer to Google things like recipes for flan or how to properly fold the flag, he would leave the computer on, his cat would jump up there and play with the keyboard, and the images would just appear. Clearly Griffin shouldn't have purchased Dell's One-Touch Felonious Porn Keyboard and should've gone with something a little more mainstream.
Cops chose to not believe that his cat was a filthy pig and took Griffin to jail instead. Hopefully the cat was bathed and sent to live with someone normal who just likes to download videos of girls dressed like anime characters.
According to an article I literally just read when I was curious about the overdiagnosis of ADD, the CDC says that 11 percent of U.S. children have been diagnosed ADD at some point. That's kind of insane. The consensus in the medical field is that ADD and ADHD are being used to account for any behaviors in kids, especially males, that are considered bothersome. Kid fidgets? ADD. Kid speaks out of turn? ADD. The problem is that everyone does that, it's not a mental problem. The definition of ADD is the excessive inability to concentrate on a task for any length of time. Remember that, it's going to be hilarious in a paragraph or two.
Probably one of the most awful things I can think of, in a non-criminal sexual context, is sex with a clown, or sex with some kind of weird Chucky doll. Because that shit is insane and unwholesome. So that makes this story about a piano teacher caught under a bridge on school property basting a "child-like" doll from the inside with his stink twizzler just ever so slightly worse than your usual story about someone humping something under a bridge like some kind of horny troll.
"Hey ... lemme put a finger in your butt."
The teacher in this case didn't even work at the school. He was just out for a stroll with his Boink Barbie when the mood struck under the bridge, so he disrobed and proceeded to brew up a batch of nightmares. After police arrived, he assured them that he didn't even know the bridge was a part of school property and that he unfortunately suffers from ADD, which makes it difficult for him to resist sexual impulses. Probably contributing to this difficulty is lurking under bridges, in the nude, with a doll that had a hump pocket carved into it.
Surprisingly, the man was only charged with public indecency and not with felony bullshittery for what must be the lamest excuse anyone has ever given for porking an inanimate object in public.