beat them with their own kind
And God, this man was just built to wreck a bunch of animals in the most profane way possible. Look at his form! He's delivering a devastating hook to one bat in mid-air, while simultaneously plucking another from the sky and preparing to whip that b***h like a fastball into its own brethren. Look, just look:
That bat is f**king terrified. It's not even flying at him anymore -- it's running away. And why? Because it doesn't want to know what it feels like to have your own daughter pitched into you at 89mph.
It's important to remember that the process most of these stories went through was the painting first, and then the text. So at some point, a roomful of writers were faced with an editor standing in front of this very picture, likely having the following exchange:
Editor: All right, ladies, who's got a headline for this mean son of a whore right here?
Writer 1: Jesus, what even is this?
Writer 2: I've got nothing for this. This is ridiculous. Nobody is going to believe this ever happened.
Editor: Fifty bucks in it for the best story.
Writer 1: Killer bats plague countryside!
Writer 2: Plague bats kill countryside!
Writer 1: You motherf- "I was a teenage bat-king."
Writer 2: "Bats stole my shirt!"
Writer 1: "I. FIGHT. BATS."
Writer 2: "VAMPIRES RIPPED MY FLESH!"
Writer 1: I ... s**t, that's really good. You have bested me, sir. I look forward to perusing your work. I will retreat to the area beneath the bleachers of the local baseball stadium, where I shall search for fallen hot dog bits.
And that is how we get art.
COXSWAIN HARDY AND HIS 20 MAROONED GEISHAS
Perhaps the most astounding detail of this piece is not the inexplicably dry blouse of the woman in red (dude, it's like, super-hard to draw wet clothes!) nor even the fighter planes in the background bombing the s**t out of a completely deserted island, thus implying that they're purposefully targeting those naked Asian clones. No, the most amazing detail of this painting is that not one -- not one -- of those girls is doing any kind of overarm stroke. They're all dog paddling,