Basically they're evading the implied question of, "Is he a good player?" by answering, "Well, uh, he works really hard and is OK with getting hit a lot."

Occasionally, you get someone trying to throw role-players a bone by saying they "can be stars in their own way" or are an Important Part of the Team, really! Which I would think is worse than being ignored.

Other uses:

When an announcer says: "With a seventh-round pick, they'll probably be picking up a role-player."

He means: "Apparently all that's left in the seventh round this year is a bunch of useless players nobody cares about."

When an announcer says: "A journeyman center acquired last year in the [star's name] trade."

He means: "I guess this guy must have been attached to that package in that big trade last year along with the players I've actually heard of."

Sports are full of unusually large specimens of humanity, so it's only natural to do a double-take when you see a player much shorter than his teammates, and only natural to want to point it out. The problem is that you usually want to point it out after he's done something impressive, effectively saying, "Even though Wes Welker is so tiny you can fit him in a teacup, he was somehow able to jump up and catch the ball. Oh, good for him!"

Via Official Star Wars Blog

Sometimes news outlets will mistakenly run a photo of Warwick Davis alongside a Wes Welker story.

So you have to go about it in a roundabout way. You use words like "scrappy"or "feisty" or say he's "a real sparkplug" -- words that are ostensibly about someone's energy and enthusiasm, but would clearly never be used for a large or average-sized person. So you can pretend you're talking about how he caught the ball because he's got so much energy and enthusiasm, and not saying he caught it despite the fact that he is an adorable munchkin.

But it's kind of depressing to compare someone like Wes Welker, who is actually an average American male at 5'9", to this:

Via GeekCast Radio

To be fair, size is pretty important in a lot of sports and affects a lot of what a player can do. But why do you need to mention that a hockey player is 5'8" (and "feisty") in order to point out that he's good at avoiding penalties? He doesn't do it by ducking under them.

And is being 5'7" really some kind of Lifetime Channel handicap you have to overcome to succeed in baseball? Really?

Would you really want your MVP celebration to be commemorated with phrases like, "the little shortstop stood tall?" Did you just win the championship of Major League Baseball or the Little League World Series?

The fans, the bloggers and the columnists can feel free to use words like "jerk," "punk," "dick" and "asshole," but commentators have to pretend they're angels with no negative thoughts about anyone.

So they have to play it like the only reason he's yelling at his own teammates is because he really, really cares about winning the game. The problem is that this implies that the other players who aren't yelling at their own teammates don't care as much about winning the game. That they're driven by a sort of laissez-faire attitude where it's OK to win or lose, as opposed to grownup self-control in the face of massive frustration.

Via michael248

Like Tim Duncan, four-time NBA champion, who clearly doesn't care very strongly about winning.

Of course it's not just Philip Rivers, whom I tend to pick on because I don't like his smug, frat boy face. Athletes in any sport are always making dick moves, and no matter how awful they are, there will always be some people somewhere excusing them as merely being "really competitive."

Via NFL.com

Andrew Bynum being competitive.

Real meaning: Hitting people hard and probably dirty.

Even if you don't know sports, you can already tell "physical" is a euphemism because how the hell is a player or team going to not be physical? While a phase shift to the noncorporeal realm would be awesome for passing through defenders, I don't think I've seen a single professional player in any sport capable of pulling that move.

But it sounds distasteful and barbaric to say, "The Lakers really need to start hitting the other team harder when the referee isn't looking," so they go with, "The Lakers really need to bring a more physical game here in the third quarter to keep pressure on the Celtics."

Via CBCSports

Your average hockey headline.

There's a lot of nuance to the term, though, so while one fan might really be asking his team to push opponents around and stand their ground in a legal and honorable way, another fan might be asking for nut shots.

Real meaning: This team sucks.

One thing a commentator really can't say is, "This team really sucks and isn't worth watching even for laughs," because they're working for a broadcasting network whose bread and butter depends on convincing people every game they broadcast is totally exciting and worth watching.

Which can be quite a tall order at times.

But when the team is literally falling down in front of you, you've got to say something about it, so you might point out that the team is in a "rebuilding phase," or going through a "transition." If they have a lot of new recruits, you can point out that they are a "young team." The real problem might be that the coach sucks or the management sucks or the players all have drug problems, but it's safer to go with "rebuilding."

And a player that's part of the "rebuilding" might be a "project," which basically means that, sure, he doesn't seem to understand how to play the game, but he's fast and strong, and we're sure there's got to be something he can be trained to do, like maybe holding a clipboard.

Via Brady Quinn Fan

And possibly even writing on one!

But this really gets into wink-and-nod territory when a team has been "rebuilding" for over 10 years, in which case another angle is to say that they are a "blue-collar" or "hard-working" team. This is similar to calling one person a "role-player" in that you're basically saying that they've accomplished absolutely nothing over many, many years. But hey! You're totally sure they are trying their best.

And as a sports commentator, you can't help but want to express your incredulity, and possibly disgust, at the team's fans that keep showing up to these train wrecks day after day, but instead of asking, "What is wrong with these people?" on network TV, you just remark on how "loyal" they are.

And since only nonwhite players are expected to be fast and athletic, logically, only white players can be "deceptively fast." Like Toby Gerhart, Harrison Jones, Matt Jones, Brady Quinn or Jordan Shipley. The implication is something like, "It was surprising that he outran that cornerback because his skin color is very light!"

I did find a "deceptively fast" quote about the Steelers' Mike Wallace, who is black, but I think what happened was that they got him confused with 60 Minutes' Mike Wallace:

Which makes a lot more sense I think.

Part of telling yourself (and peer pressuring others into thinking) that a major injury is no big deal is to use childish slang terms. You didn't fracture your ankle, you're just a bit "gimpy." You didn't rip a vital tendon, you're just "dinged up." When everyone essentially refers to player injuries as "booboos," there's a real pressure not to be seen sitting out because you are nursing an "ouchie."

In last season's NFC championship game, Jay Cutler left the field with a knee injury and fans ended up burning his jersey because they seemed to think he was just sitting out because it was fun to watch his team lose a game that would lead toward the most important goal in his life. Never mind that you could see his knee wiggling in his socket as he limped off the field.

External injuries sometimes can look bad enough that even fans and commentators will remark on how bad it is and excuse the guy for getting off the field, but concussions are another story. Even though evidence has shown that the buildup of just minor head collisions every football player experiences through the course of their career will inevitably lead to irreparable brain damage, fans and commentators still often say a player just "got his bell rung," or "got his cage rattled," as if it was a funny little injury that only hurt his confidence, or his pride.

Via Talk Nerdy To Me Lover

Like getting slapped by a monkey.

Quarterback Jeff Garcia, after being hit by two 240-pound men, taking a shot to the head, and hitting the ground with his head, so that he was unable to get up for minutes afterward, dismissed it as being "dinged" and getting his "bell rung" and went right back into the game.

Using goofy kid-like terms makes it sound like he's just walking around with Looney Tunes style stars floating around his head where the only worry is whether he's got the mental toughness to shake it off and continue to perform with confidence.

As opposed to, say, having to worry about long-term brain damage leading to a condition almost identical to Alzheimer's or causing suicidal depression.

Shucks, he just got his bell rung, is all.

For more from Christina, check out 5 Reasons Women Are As Shallow As Men (According to Science) and 5 Topics Guaranteed to Elicit (Condescending) Advice.