But it certainly seems true, and that's why so many people post this lie: "I haven't been on here in forever!!!!"
It's OK, babies. It's happened to the best of us. No need to pretend.
PSYCHIC UPDATE: To those of you who commented about how all social media is bullshit and that's why you don't do it, you are very cool.
"I'm Quitting This Site!"
There's a lot of things that suck about the Internet, but the overriding problem with the Net is that it has people on it. So really it's no different from the world or life or your office: Some people are terrible, and the more of them there are in one place, the greater your chances of meeting them! That's why, after trolling or oversensitive political correctness or being misunderstood or any one of the things that can make social media annoying happens, people will say, "THAT'S IT! I'M QUITTING."
Hello, old friend. You're good at everything!
This is one of those lies that only turns out to be a lie in hindsight. We know you're mad. You might even be right to be mad. But you'll be back. They always come back. We have hashtags and apps. Go blow off some steam. Live your life in the real world. But you can't avoid 1 a.m. and boredom forever. Social media will see you real soon. Bwahahahahaha!
GLADSTONE'S NOTES FROM THE INTERNET APOCALYPSE IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER!
After experiencing the joy of pre-ordering Book 1 of the trilogy, be sure to follow Gladstone on Twitter.
Also, you can get all your Internet Apocalypse news here as we count down to release.
What's the best way to put a liar to shame? Pick up a Tesla T-shirt and show us how you would defeat their villainy .