The outfit it self was nothing more than a red two piece Mrs. Clause French cut bikini. The outfit had more than put [Melanie Puckett] in the Christmas spirit but had also made her horny and wet. But then what girl wouldn't be horny knowing she was about to be taken by eight well hung black guys.
"You're nice and all, but I wish you were half of the Atlanta Hawks."
I can think of a few, but never mind that. I'm pretty sure the author of this story thinks babies are made by 10 naked people yelling profanities at each other. I'm also pretty sure he couldn't spellcheck his story because his keyboard was too sticky.
"Gahhh agghh!," where the only sounds coming fro Melanie's mouth as she gagged around the dick in her mouth as she happily jerked off Mack and now Shad.
In the show, Melanie is a studious and rule-abiding student, and it's unclear what horrible changes came over her in this universe. I would complain about the poor characterization, but the bigger problem is that the author has clearly never heard a woman speak before.
"UGH ....FUCK.... WHY ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS STANDING AROUND GIVE SOME DICKS TO SUCK,"
"WELCOME TO MOTHERFUCKING iCARLY, COCKSHITTERS!"
In this mysterious world, the default volume for sex is yelling, the default tone is offensive, and the default grammar is incomprehensible.
"YEAH FUCK ME POUND ME YOU BLACK BASTARD."
"I GOT YOU'RE BITCH WHORE!," Shad said picking up his pace.
There's a difference between talking dirty and talking like senile Al Pacino. Melanie has more orgasms in the span of 10 minutes than I've given women in my lifetime, because the author thinks the refractory period is an art museum exhibit. I'll refrain from further excerpts, because terms like "meat staffs" and "geyser of pussy juice" could turn you off of both sex and Christmas dinner, but I'd like to draw your attention to the character of Dave, Melanie's cousin and one of her eight paramours.
In addition to having the biggest dick and the tastiest ejaculate of the gang, he's the hottest and the best at getting Melanie off. She asks him to officially become her boyfriend so they can have even more amazing sex and also watch anime and wrestling together. She's so happy he agrees that she promises him an orgy with eight girls.
Which you can read about in the sequel!
At first I thought it was weird that the protagonist was based on me, but the author's profile introduction, "What up my Names Dave," reveals his real influence. I shudder to think what would drive a man to make himself the star of indescribably filthy iCarly porn, but Dave, whatever your reasons were, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you. We'll get through this together, OK? Be strong. Merry Christmas.
For more from Mark, check out 5 Shockingly Insane 'Game of Thrones' Fanfiction Sex Scenes. And then check out 54 Great Movies Combined Into 27 AMAZING Scenes.
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