The 6 Most Brilliant Comedy Gems Hiding on YouTube (Part 6)
If this is the first time you've seen a "hidden YouTube gems" article, you're in for a treat. With the invaluable help of our mentally unstable forum members, we mine through the turd mountain that is YouTube until we find the gold hidden within. Then we spotlight those underrated nuggets of joy, because not sharing them with the world would be a goddamn travesty.
(Once you run out of free YouTube insanity, why not spend a little to find out why John Quincy Adams believed in mole people? Our De-Textbook has the inside-the-earth scoop.)
If you've never heard of it before, Garry's Mod is a game/mod program on Steam that lets you create and play pretty much whatever you want. Gamers, being what they are, decided to use it almost exclusively to make ridiculous videos. And the world is a better place for it.
The one above is called "Dinner Time," and it is the epitome of stupid. In a good way. At 27 seconds, it's exactly as long as it needs to be, which is rare for any comedy video -- most of them try to stretch a 10-second joke into a five-minute bag of coffin nails. But Dr. Face knew that this needed to be exactly 24 seconds' worth of nonsense punctuated by a three-second closer that borders on surrealism. It's perfect, and I've watched it way more times than a healthy person should ever admit. So I won't put a number on it. It's securely in the double digits, though. For now.
Unintentional Penis Ad (Safe for Work)
Say what you want about Reddit, but there is no site in the world better at finding totally innocent things like a Christmas ad and turning it into something horrifying and wrong. That page I linked spells it out in no uncertain terms -- "This advert is 1000x better if you imagine they're all looking at your penis" -- but if you honestly watched that TK Maxx ad and didn't come to that conclusion on your own, I don't ever want to know you, because we come from different galaxies. And you know how racist I am against aliens.
And maybe it says something dark and terrible about my sense of humor, but when they get to that baby, I absolutely lose it every time. The way it gazes down in awestruck amazement and then looks back up like it had just seen God himself. You can almost hear him say, "For me? I ... I am not worthy of such a glorious boner." Yes, I know every person in that commercial looks that way, but seeing the baby do it is just so ... dark.
Little Kid Has a Death Metal Dream
A couple of years ago, a video of a little kid went viral. He was trying to say something about dreams and being able to do anything you set your mind to ... or something ... it's hard to tell what the fuck he's rambling about. It came out as 22 seconds of aimlessly stumbling over words in rapid, machine-gun fashion. No pattern, no rhythm. Just nervously stammering sounds like hitting the jackpot on a nickel slot machine that paid out in first grade spelling homework.
The video I embedded is a "remix" of the original, overdubbed with heavy metal guitar. And it fits fucking perfectly. I couldn't imagine how long it took that person to compose a piece that so seamlessly intertwined the kid's vocal meltdown with crunching death metal riffs while still maintaining a workable beat. But regardless of the amount of work it took, it was worth it. After seeing it, I'm not sure I could imagine a world where this never existed.
Wendy's Teaches You How to Pour Coffee ... With Rap
All training videos are stupid. They're made with virtually no funding. The actors are either managers within the company or high school drama students. The premise is obviously concocted by some jackoff upper management member with aspirations of mediocrity. But this one from Wendy's is something special.
Somebody somewhere said, "You know what the problem is with training videos? They're too boring. What can we do to hold the new employee's interest? I heard the rap music is big with kids these days." And so they sat down and wrote a rap about how to pour coffee and stir hot chocolate powder into boiling water. Then they hired some poor bastard who desperately needed the money and the resume padding and made him perform the most embarrassing musical number of his entire acting career. It's one step up from blowing drug dealers for crack.
Now, obviously, they didn't intend for this to be as hilarious as it is, any more than Hardee's intended their safety video filled with mimes to be as horrifying as it is. But hey, that's what we in the comedy industry call a "happy accident." Or "dumbfuckery."
I feel like it's important to let you know right off the bat that I normally hate prank videos and prank calls. Rarely are they ever funny, because they rely on a premise that most people grow out of in the third grade. This is one of the rare pieces of genius that pops up once every five or 10 years. The unfortunate downside of this prank is having to listen to talk radio people laugh over the top of it. But once you get past that, the exchanges are near legendary. I don't want to give away any of the awesome jokes so I won't go into detail, but the overall gist is that a telemarketer calls a guy's house, and the guy convinces him that he's called a murder scene.
In keeping with the prank topic, I was shown one from a Japanese television show that I want to try so bad. It's so simple, but I can't stop laughing at the idea:
They hide 100 people (or at least that's the number I've seen people use when describing it) behind a building. Then they wait for someone to walk down the alley, and everyone sprints out, running for their lives and screaming as if they're being chased by demon bulls. There are plenty of other pranks in that video, but the running, screaming crowd is just a work of pure asshole genius to me.
Talking Boat -- Bluh Bluh Bluh Bluh Bluh ...
I feel like I'm cheating by putting this video in this list because it has over a million views. But when I saw it a few days ago, it was still pretty low on traffic. I'm putting it in here anyway, because it may very well be my new favorite thing.
It's just a guy driving behind a covered boat on a trailer, and the wind is making an air vent flap like a mouth. And as the thing ripples and- bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh ...
Seriously, the last four seconds of that video make me laugh so hard, it hurts my cheeks and makes me question my sanity.