The 6 Most Baffling Search Queries About Relationships

Despite old adages, love is not permanent. It is an amorphous blob of passion that transforms endlessly, appearing one minute as a flickering light of purpose toward which you struggle, and the next as a quiet hatred sitting in the passenger seat of your car, shaking its head because you forgot to shave. Naturally, you have a lot of questions, and according to the millions of Internet searches on the topic of love, you are not alone.

But the Internet is taking advantage of your ignorance. All the private questions you posed to Google about sex and relationships are stored and sold to companies who only want to feed you advertisements disguised as answers.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

This is the face of betrayal.

Gone are the days when you could get a straight response from an objective third party who cares just enough to be honest but not enough to judge you.

Well you are in good hands now. A month ago I introduced Uncle Frank, the sole person on the Internet willing to answer your intimate or embarrassing questions with the sincerity and candor they deserve, and today he's here to help the lovesick. The following are 6 unedited search queries and the best possible advice for each. So sit back, relax and have your questions answered by a guy who really shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place...

To turn on reply notifications, click here

195 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

5 Ways The Past Used To Be Unbelievably Disgusting

Before the 20th century, most of the world was a toilet.

124

8 Seemingly Innocent Things We Need To Stop Saying To Women

If a woman is annoyed at a seemingly innocuous string of words, there's probably a reason for it.

482

5 Unnecessarily Terrifying Kids Movie Villains

How do we explain these hellish villains in otherwise kid-friendly movies?

111

5 TV Characters With Secretly Tragic Character Arcs

It's hard to end a TV show satisfactorily.

153

The 5 Weirdest Choices The MCU Almost Made

Any of this could have changed the MCU in some very, very weird ways.

81

5 Failed Attempts To Scientifically Prove The Afterlife

It's just the wind ... or is it?

175