Well, the summer's over and for many of you that means it's time to start thinking about picking a college major! Sure, it might seem like a daunting task, but it's only the first step towards determining how happy and successful you will be for the rest of your life. Until you die.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Perhaps, I've been presumptuous. You don't even need a college major if you're independently wealthy. Are you? Then congratulations. You will have a life free of worry, dedicated to middling self-discovery. But for the rest of you without the foresight to have been born incredibly rich, you can take comfort knowing that it doesn't really matter what you do. Working for a living is a sucker's game, and you're pretty much screwed regardless. Still, you have to put something on that damn administrative form, so LET'S PICK A MAJOR!!!
Why You Chose It
Sure, it involves at least four more years of schooling, but if you're even considering this as an option, you're probably really good at school. Yeah, the loans will be a bitch for a while, but it will all be worth it because you get to care for the sick and make a lot of money. You will be rich in spirit, and in the way that can buy you a boat!
Why You'll Regret It
Our current medical system makes it really hard for a doctor to be rich in either of those ways. Doctors can't use their full discretion in prescribing treatment; they have to stay within an insurance company's conception of what appropriate care is.
Oh, and physicians are making less and less every year. Isn't that awesome? Even the ones who needed 12 years of training, are on call three nights a week and get woken up in the middle of the night to make life and death decisions. Why would we expect those people to be well paid?
But hey, it's worth it because everyone likes doctors. Or they did 50 years ago. Speaking of which, if you're smart enough to be in the top 10 percent of your organic chemistry class you're probably smart enough to invent a time machine and go to a period where doctors were both respected and compensated. And in the meantime, you get to spend four years undergrad and four years post grad taking incredibly hard exams with a bunch of people who also want to be doctors. And what's more fun than spending all your time with people good at science?
Why You Chose It
You know the best thing about Pre-Law? It doesn't exist. Yeah, there's no such thing. All you need to get into law school is a decent GPA in anything and a good score on the LSAT which is just like the SATs plus one annoying logic section that you can learn how to do in a two week review course.