Suddenly you're launched into an argument about stealing movies with a guy who's doing it in the dumbest way that he knows how. You could go into how it hurts an industry when you illegally share films online, and how it hurts the respect that everyone has for you when you share your own home movies of another movie. Instead you're forced to stage-whisper quick commands over a crowded row of people to a person who is getting angry at you for sheepishly enforcing rules upon them. Now the audio in his shit-for-shot remake is ruined by a pesky theater employee who just doesn't want to hear more complaints about the guy who has deemed it his responsibility to ensure that the world has at least one free, low-quality version of WALL-E.
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I don't know a lot about economics, but I know enough that, when people have put money into something like a movie, they do it with the hope that it will bring that amount of money back and more. There's a pretty decent margin between The Lone Ranger's budget and the amount of money that represents the American people's complete non-interest in it, and you can't fill that margin with smiles. I know that it seems weird that people would spend millions of dollars for The Avengers 2: Remember After the Credits of the First One? Yeah, It'll Be That Guy with the interest of living comfortably off of the profits, but they do.
"Honestly, it's a project done out of love ... of hookers and cocaine."
Sadly, as soon as your friends hear that you got a new job at the movies, any knowledge they have of how the economy works is thrown out the window. People have this misconception about free tickets as if there's a system in place that will allow you to get your friend, your friend's little brother, and your friend's girlfriend in for free on the Friday of the film's debut, over and over again. It doesn't matter whether you work in concessions and ushering, like I did, or in the box office. When you work at a theater, apparently you have some kind of pull that allows you to sneak people past the entire machinations of what keeps movie theaters in business.
The people who run the theater are even more hesitant to provide any sort of free ticket service for your cheap friends. Some of the money coming in goes to them, and when you say, "Excuse me, but could I possibly cut back on that chance for income a little bit?" they don't take it warmly.
It's almost like they're trying to run a legitimate business or something ...
I never had enough clout in my position to Oprah my way into giving out free tickets to everyone. My friends took this as a sign of me being an asshole, because apparently their friends who work at Home Depot or Target are just giving away free weed eaters and nickel-finish picture frames (respectively) from the trunks of their cars.
If working at a movie theater got me any closer to Hollywood, it was only the part where you realize that all of your friends are leeches who just like you because of the doors they think you can open for them.
Daniel left a piece of his soul behind in that theater. If you find it, let him know on Twitter.