To be fair, it's not just a Jonathan problem; it's a Stranger Things problem. If they're not casting the part of a preteen, they have no idea what youth looks like. During the new season, the first time I saw Billy speed into the school parking lot in that dope muscle car, I was pretty sure he was the hot, new janitor.

Netflix"Know what I like about high school roles? I get older, while they stay casting me."

Heaton says he won the Duffers' attention during a Skype call at a burger restaurant. So I'm thinking that if it was late at night in a burger joint with good fluorescent lighting, sure, he passes for 16. Much in the same way I pass for someone who hasn't just eaten three cheeseburgers.

As for the role of Billy, the only explanation I can fathom is that Carmen Cuba is the casting director for Stranger Things, and she also cast all of the abs in Magic Mike. Don't you dare ever say a word against her. She has brought more joy into this world than you can possibly fathom. But it makes sense when you see Dacre Montgomery like this:

Dacre Montgomery/Instagram

Rewatching Sixteen Candles, I realized that WOW, this movie does not hold up, mainly because Michael Schoeffling plays boyfriend Jake Ryan with all of the charm of a half-dead centipede that you found in your shoe. God, they just don't make men like Jake Ryan anymore. Sorry, I meant thank God they just don't make men like Jake Ryan anymore.

Not only do Schoeffling and Ringwald look creepy together, they actually were creepy together. Schoeffling was 23 at the time the movie was made, while Ringwald was 15! I'm pretty sure when he picked her up from her sister's wedding at the end of the movie, that was legally kidnapping.

This was pretty early in the career of casting director Jackie Burch, but she went on to cast some awesome movies, including Die Hard, Road House, Weird Science, and Coming To America. However, she also cast Hudson Hawk, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, and Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Road Chip. That's not just a mixed bag; it's a mixed bag of snickers and scorpions.

The '70s were a different time, when age was just a number ... a very high number that begins with a three for a lot of the cast members of Grease. I'm not saying that 30 is old; I'm just saying it's old to be pretending to study for the SATs. I knew that Grease was a Broadway play before it became a musical, so I assumed that Channing originated the role on Broadway and the directors thought no one could do it better than her. That was not at all true. Then I figured they decided to cast the movie with all older actors for a sort of weird old people high school vibe. Maybe they cut a subplot where the water in this town was bad or something, so all the kids have wrinkles? This is also not true.

The age range of the main cast members jumps around from two 19-years-olds, to John Travolta at 23, to 33-year-olds. Channing is the oldest, and it definitely shows when she's paired with the 19-year-old actress playing Marty. She looks like she's there to try to sell her beer. Again, this isn't age-shaming or look-shaming. She looks great. She's an awesome actor. It's just a really weird choice to cast someone who's almost double the age of the character she's supposed to be playing.

She just has the vibe of a wise teacher there to dispense advice. Yes, Perry's head hair is trying to escape his eyebrow hair, but every time the camera switches from 19-year-old Jennie Garth to Carteris, I can't help but yell "Narc!" at the television. It's just an instinct.

CBS Television DistributionNAR- uh, sorry.

Unfortunately, the Los Angeles Police Department refused to return my phone calls. However, I can tell you that the casting of Beverly Hills, 90210 was pretty bonkers in general. I had no idea Jason Priestley and Shannen Doherty played twins, because they look like their families have never met. Several of the other "teenagers" on the show were deep into their 20s, although Carteris was the oldest in the cast.

90210 was the first big teen soap opera, so it was all kind of a big experiment. They obviously weren't quite sure what they wanted from their actors, other than to look pretty and cry a lot. Both of those things everyone in the 90210 cast excelled at. But looking like teenagers? Not so much.

If McGuire were cast as Johnny Depp's grandmother, I wouldn't bat an eye at that decision. I get that Cry-Baby was a fanciful movie. It's a John Waters musical about a man who can only cry out of one eye, and it has all the camp you would expect to go with that. The problem is that unless the movie is called Benjamin Button, you cannot convince me that Hatchet Face is in high school.

Universal Pictures"Exactly how many grades were you held back?"

A lot of people speculate that the part was originally written for John Waters frequent collaborator Divine, who passed away shortly before the film went into production. The character is often described as facially disfigured, which seems a little harsh. I'm pretty sure if I stood next to a young Johnny Depp, I would look facially disfigured as well. I have to say, I think the majority of this casting decision came down to "I'm John Waters, and I do what I want." I should probably just be glad that Hatchet Face is a person and not a mannequin made out of dumpster bologna who ends up getting eaten by the rest of the cast.

You can follow Lydia on Twitter.

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