It's such an over-the-top attempt at turning games into high art that it can almost pass as a spot-on parody of games that attempt to be high art, if only such games existed.
Don't Shit Your Pants: A Survival Horror Game
I lied! There's more butt stuff!
Don't Shit Your Pants is a text-based adventure game. You are a man who kind of looks like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and you're in desperate need of a shit. But there's a problem, which is the same problem every character from a text-based adventure game encounters: You're an idiot and you need to be told how to perform even the simplest of tasks. You character stands outside of his bathroom door with no idea how to deal with this brewing shitstorm inside him. He is dumbfounded by this shit he has to take, truly perplexed.
"Me no know poop! Help poop! HELP!"
You have to type in the proper perfectly worded commands to get him on the toilet and pooping before he soils himself like the pathetic, balding, beer-bellied loser he clearly is. This guy's life is probably awful. Don't make it worse by allowing him to shit himself.
Don't Shit Your Pants is about as short as you'd imagine a game about talking a guy through evacuating his bowels would be. There is some replay value in trying to collect all the achievements, which mostly involve failing to shit in the toilet in one way or another -- but the fun of text adventure games is in experimenting with different commands and seeing what happens. On one playthrough, I typed "Don't shit." Then this happened:
Filled with shame, as he should be. Well, at least he didn't shit on th- NO! NOT ON THE FLOO-
At least he's happy.
Luis is not at all busy right now, but he should be. You can find him on Twitter and Tumblr.
And be sure to kill some more time on video games with If Video Game Characters Found More Practical Solutions.