The 5 Most Ridiculously Sexist Superhero Costumes

"Faster than a speeding bullet! Bigger than a human head!"). They once changed her entire back story from solar superpowered alien to magical Atlantean and back again, and the only thing that stayed constant was the hole in the costume.

DC
Even on-panel you have another disappointed girl.

*, and their rebooted Starfire made sure the new demographic wouldn't contain ovaries. *Because their existing one is famous for hating change and not multiplying.

DC
The site isn't playing saxophone music. You're just hearing it anyway.

Critics have pointed out that the original Starfire was always polyamorous, but that's like saying the original Superman could only jump really high. Starfire is now best known for the Teen Titans cartoon, which had 2 million viewers, aka 20 times more people than were buying her comics. So many of her biggest fans were young schoolgirls, the market demographic least likely to read comics and most likely to be warned to stay away from people who do. The TV show's version of Starfire was an awkward-but-hopeful shy girl who wanted to be cool and make friends. She was a positive character who allowed awkward-but-hopeful shy fans to insert themselves into the show. The comic's decision to take the same character in a much creepier "I'd like to insert myself" direction couldn't have been more poorly timed.

DC
The new direction is "Literally break your own spine to aim breasts at male eyes."

Her rewritten back story apparently had her coming from the planet Penthouse Letter. Her ignorance of human conversation manifested itself via thinking it's unnecessary to know someone's name before having sex. The rest of the team are already bragging about who's ridden the interplanetary bicycle in the first issue, in the middle of a firefight in which she's saving them. I understand the direction they're going for, but come on, guys, we already have the Internet for porn.

Blackest Night event, the Sapphire ring lets Wonder Woman triumph over the black ring of death itself because of her feelings of love for Batman. Even in a life-or-death struggle, the most famous female comic character in history is only allowed to live because she wants to bang a man. Though in fairness, wanting to sleep with Batman isn't sexist.

Warner Bros Pictures, DC Comics, Polygram Filmed Entertainment, though we're not 100% those guys actually want credit for this

He knows everyone wants to touch them.

her tits to tell people it's the Fantastic Four. This is a woman who knows her audience, even if her costume is everything wrong with the '50s dream woman (white but also black and blue and showing her breasts on demand).

Marvel
"I don't know, when your breasts aren't a perfectly flat mass because curved fours are hard to draw?"

It's the shaped window that elevates this above all the other "Here are my mammaries!" costumes. They'd cut so many holes in powerful women's clothing that they needed new shapes just to feel something. If you're thinking, "This doesn't work unless I can see her boobs," you're not writing comics, you're masturbating. Especially when characters wear such skintight Spandexium that the only difference between "fully clothed" and "complete nudity" is coloring.

DC
This is Acheronian soft-core with face paint.

any man would react to being well-built, usually glistening and most often found on the beach. The ridiculousness comes from people who justify the superpowered strippers by pointing out that men are just as unreasonably objectified in comics.

Marvel
Look at the poor victimized boy, one inch from boning on the cover.

Near-naked superhorny women is a male fantasy. Being a hulking Adonis who can punch through tanks is also a male fantasy. This ... this isn't hard, guys, unlike many things when you're considering those issues. If you ever find a woman sexually excited by men with the approximate dimensions of a semi truck, it's either Tila Tequila or Optimus Prime's number one fan.

Marvel
See, women, we have improbable male anatomy for you, too!

This "equally idealized" bullshit is actually used by people. People paid to sell comics despite their first decision being "We'll only target half the population." We know you're in the comics industry, fellas, but that argument is the wrong type of comical. Namor is the ultimate exemplar: He's exactly what any guy would wear if he thought he could get away with it. Even when Namor puts on more clothes, they're ridiculous and show off more chest than Tom Jones during heart surgery.

Marvel
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His most common plot point is banging another character's wife (Sue Storm from above). He's not just included for the 10 percent of guys who got this far despite not liking girls, but to make a point. (And not just in their trousers.) It's stupid to say that the art is equally unfair because the average man can't be used as a teaching model in medical college. That's like Bond claiming it's fair that henchmen can't hit him with machine guns because he also has a ridiculous level of accuracy. It's a lot of fun, and we all go to see it, just don't claim that it's equality.

Marvel
A posing pouch and dressing gown. His whole wardrobe says "I get laid too often to bother with clothing."

If I were offering a carved beef buffet above a pork sausage special, that's how I'd dress. Mere physical strength would be enough superpower to make me go full Doctor Manhattan.

Luke McKinney scientifically proves that Die Hard is the ultimate party. He also tumbles and has a website.

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