Then you come across "Anakin Defeats Sebulba" and try to push away the thoughts that the title just ruined an important plot point for you. Come on, you tell yourself, who can really know what any of these tracks will mean in the context of the movie, like with "Sebulba," or this other track titled "Qui-Gon's Noble End" OH FUCK YOU, SOUNDTRACK! How could that title be interpreted as anything but a gigantic spoiler giving away Qui-Gon's death? It couldn't, but just to make sure, the track right after it is called "The High Council Meeting and Qui-Gon's Funeral," presumably because "Neeson Dies, You Can Go Screw a Bantha" was deemed a little too on the nose.

The LEGO set above (pictures of which were released two months before the premiere of Iron Man 3) shows a scene from the movie where the Mandarin attacks Tony's house in a helicopter piloted by an "Extremis Soldier," who looks normal at the bottom of the box, but furiously hungover and constipated on the box art itself. Even if you hadn't read the Extremis story arc on which the movie was loosely based, the TV spots had already established by then that the movie would feature characters with superpowers, and the Extremis Soldier guy was obviously what they would look like.

So when another LEGO box set showed Dr. Killian driving a speedboat while looking furiously hungover and constipated, it sort of revealed that there's more to Guy Pearce than meets the bloodshot, glowing eye.

Lego
He's just angry because his superpowers were named after a '90s skateboard company.

Seeing the two LEGO sets next to each other made it abundantly clear that whatever was happening to the Extremis Soldier character was happening to Guy Pearce's character, a fact that does not become clear in the movie until the last third. Now, this was a pretty big spoiler for not only casual viewers, but also comic book fans, because in the Extremis comic book, Aldrich Killian does exactly two things: kill himself and squat.

To LEGO's credit, most of its sets did put almost all of the emphasis on the Mandarin, so fans could have simply assumed that the LEGO set didn't mean anything. It's not like anyone could have predicted that Marvel would tease us with the Mandarin and then yank the rug from under our feet and laugh at us for daring to want to see Tony Stark's greatest archnemesis that isn't a bottle of whiskey.

The 2013 movie Oz the Great and Powerful was Disney's way of introducing The Wizard of Oz to a new generation of fans by having absolutely nothing to do with the original L. Frank Baum books. It was mainly a story about how falling in love with James Franco can make a person go crazy.

Wooooo Magazine
Thus making you the perfect couple!

The movie did have one thing going for it, though: It promised to show us the origin of the Wicked Witch of the West, the iconic green-skinned sorceress who never bathed despite living with an army of flying monkeys.

The Spoiler:

There were three characters in the movie who could have become the Wicked Witch: Rachel Weisz' Evanora, Mila Kunis' Theodora, and Michelle Williams' Glinda, with Kunis being the least likely suspect because her character was portrayed as so doe-eyed in the trailers, she should have been named "Bambi." Even in their press releases, Disney described her as a "naive witch protected by her powerful sister Evanora." This was of course meant to be a clever ploy to throw you off track and shock the audience when it turned out that, a-yup, Theodora is the one who becomes the Wicked Witch of the West. A clever ploy indeed, if Disney hadn't given it away via an official Oz mug released months before the movie.

Walt Disney

Yes, that's Kunis' Theodora adorning a mug clearly marked "Wicked Witch of the West" and ruining what Disney had been treating like a pretty big secret up until then. It's not like fans of the books would know that Theodora was destined to become Triple-W, because she doesn't exist in any of the, oh, 50 or so Oz books out there.

So, really, if you were a fan hoping to be surprised even a little bit by the origin of an iconic movie villain, the officially released Disney mug basically told you to crap inside it and eat shit, valued consumer.

What happened to Dark City was like taking Morpheus' exposition about humans living inside a computer, putting it at the beginning of The Matrix, and then asking the audience to still act surprised when horrible stuff starts happening to Keanu Reeves. And once you know none of that stuff is "real," seeing him suffer suddenly isn't as fun to watch anymore.

This spoilerific poster, however, can actually be forgiven here because most people still remember the original story where the main character gets pig blood dumped on her during prom and uses her telekinesis on the school to color-match the walls with her dress. The Planet of the Apes book, on the other hand, had a completely different ending from the movie, which was then given away right there on the poster, similarly to some of these Ender's Game promotional materials:

Summit Entertainment

Again, let's say you've never read any of the Ender books. Look at these posters of a character leading some kind of space attack, and the tagline "This is not a game." Now, if you went into the movie and saw that it revolves around a young boy supposedly taking part in a war simulation against an alien invader, would it really take you long to figure out that the "simulation" was actually real, and that he was in fact leading a real army against a real space invader? Because that is precisely what happens in the novel near the very end, with the explicit purpose of making you put the book down, look into the distance, and go Fuuuuck ...

The same goes for Rocky IV and its poster, which clearly shows a victorious Rocky after he'd assumingly beaten the Soviet super boxer Drago.

MGM

It was such a weird choice for a poster because not only did it remove any possible suspense from the movie, it was also so over-the-top patriotic that you'd think Rocky IV ended with Stallone beating Drago, winning the Cold War, and then annexing the USSR as America's 51st state.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a freelance Cracked columnist and editor who's also written for The Huffington Post.

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