George Bush (both of them)
It kind of goes without saying that a McCain campaign can count on a Bush endorsement. And really, itâs good for all of us; if his own party abandoned him, he might just go into a âNam flashback and rip the throats out of everyone at the nearest caucus. And if thereâs anything we must protect, itâs our caucuses. Cauci? Cockeye? Whatever.
On the surface, the endorsement of the man who has the job youâre interviewing for isnât really a bad deal. I had a friend who ran the drive thru at a Taco Bell, and when he quit to become a script reader, I snapped that shit up like a Cruchwrap Supreme.
And whatâs the presidency if not a glorified drive thru window? You take the orders of America, misinterpret them due to a broken and convoluted communications system, then give them what you thought they wanted and charge them for it anyway.
The point being, if the biggest celeb in the worldâthe President of the gosh-darned United Statesâand his Dad (who was also the President) both want to come out and say you could do their job, thatâs just Fire Sauce.
Unless that Fire Sauce has a 19 percent approval rating. Despite their differences, a fairly solid campaign strategy from both sides lately has been to point out repeatedly and emphatically âGuys, I am NOT like George Bush. Seriously, I barely even know the guy. We like, shook hands, ONCE, and we didnât even make eye contact.â
While Obama can point to his donkey pin, voting record, and blackness to distance himself from the presidential pariah, all McCainâs really got is the word âmaverick.â Which is not to imply that his camp isnât utilizing the word âmaverickâ to the absolute fullest extent grammatically possible.
And if you think Iâm being biased, may I point out that during his endorsement speech, President Bush actually offered to oppose McCain if that would be more helpful. Bitter passive-aggression, or surprising insight?
If McCainâs going to pull this one out, itâs time to play some âditch the turd.â Just don't say