You're pondering the fact that when you were a kid, you never wrote this on your "What I want to be when I grow up" writing assignment, when you suddenly remember, "Holy shit, I have a child person that I created with my big ol' crime dong!" You decide right there on the spot that he isn't going to turn out like you, and his life is going to start getting better right now with this Christmas.
"Oh, Dad, he's awesome! Will he ever get big enough to kill a full-grown human?"
One hour later, you're running out the back of a pet store with a cash register under one arm and a handful of snakes in the other. That's what happened to the guy in that link.
At the risk of getting all preachy, let me offer this advice to anyone in a really hard spot this (or any other) year: If you can't afford to buy a gift for your kids, there are other ways to go about it that are so much easier and less filled with stolen snakes. Churches are a good place to start, even if you're not a religious person. The way I see it, if you're morally flexible enough to steal serpents, you can bend the rules enough to ask Catholics and Baptists for a favor. Barring that, find your local Chamber of Commerce and explain your situation. I've never seen one that doesn't have a list of a dozen or more totally free, no-obligation help programs for people in (believe it or not) your exact situation. But the one surefire way to make your kids' Christmas really shitty is to have their mother explain to them that their dad can't be there because he's in jail -- again.