Oh, but it does not end there: Not only did a full force mid-air chainsaw blow fail to kill the lion, it barely phased it. They found the lion several days later, with only a six inch gash on its shoulder to attest to its epic battle . In Britton's own words: "You would think if you hit an animal with a chainsaw it would dig right in. I might as well have hit it with a hockey stick."
There you go: Lions are essentially fucking chainsaw proof.
Warning: Ineffective against lions.
That is exactly what it looks like: A jungle cat riding shotgun in a motorcycle racing up the walls of a dome of death. It's not like there's a reasonable explanation for this picture--it's not taken from comic book or an Iron Maiden album cover--
it's actually a real thing.
Somebody back in the 1920s thought to themselves, âI find the world lacking in badass, and this trend perturbs me. I will place this enormous predator in an exceedingly fast motor-vehicle and fling it about an enclosed pit with reckless abandon, and the people will pay me for it because I am dangerously insane and may turn on them if not humored in this endeavor. â And this was the birth of--I shit you not--The Lion Drome!
This photo was most likely taken at the first and most famous of the Lion Dromes (that's right, the 20s were so fucking hardcore that the term âLion Dromeâ needed a plural) which was called
Fearless Eggbert's Lion Drome
. Now, with a name like Eggbert, you have little choice but to grow up "fearless," as your childhood was likely a never-ending orgy of swirlies and atomic wedgies (or whatever they called them in the roaring 20s. Steam-wedgies?) But it could be argued that Eggbert took the "fearless" moniker just a bit too far; it's one thing to put on a daredevil show, but it's quite another to host what appears to be princess Leia racing a motorcycle through the Thunderdome while the King of All Beasts navigates.
That's not fearless; that's surrealistic insanity. That's not a circus act; that's a hallucination that puts you off acid for good.
But you know what the most unsettling aspect of this picture is? It's not the gravity-defying superpredator, nor is it the steam-spouting ramshackle go-kart that appears about to explode. No, it's this guy:
This guy is actually unimpressed. He'sâ¦ he's fucking bored! What life must you live to find this hybrid of tooth, steel and speed so tedious that you're practically falling asleep inside the Motor-lion Pit?
"HOLY SHIT I AM A LION AND I AM ALMOST LEARNING TO DRIVE A CAR."
âHmm. Forgive my apathy, you see, I've just finished racing an ape about the world in a hot air balloon.â
âBUT I AM THE KING OF THE JUNGLE AND NOW ALSO KING OF THE ROAD!â
âYes, well. Last week I killed and ate the king of Spain on a gentleman's wager.â
âBUT MY ENORMOUS JAWS ARE ONLY KEPT IN CHECK BY CENTRIFUGAL FORCE. THEY ARE GOING LIKE 80 MILES AN HOUR.â
âMmm? What, sorry, I fell asleep. Are you quite finished? I've an appointment to keep where I am to be fired at the moon from the world's largest cannon.â
âSHIT THAT'S PRETTY CRAZY.â
Advantage: That guy.
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