Oh, but it does not end there: Not only did a full force mid-air chainsaw blow fail to kill the lion, it barely phased it. They found the lion several days later, with only a six inch gash on its shoulder to attest to its epic battle . In Britton's own words: "You would think if you hit an animal with a chainsaw it would dig right in. I might as well have hit it with a hockey stick."
There you go: Lions are essentially f*****g chainsaw proof.
Warning: Ineffective against lions.
That is exactly what it looks like: A jungle cat riding shotgun in a motorcycle racing up the walls of a dome of death. It's not like there's a reasonable explanation for this picture--it's not taken from comic book or an Iron Maiden album cover--
it's actually a real thing.
Somebody back in the 1920s thought to themselves, âI find the world lacking in badass, and this trend perturbs me. I will place this enormous predator in an exceedingly fast motor-vehicle and fling it about an enclosed pit with reckless abandon, and the people will pay me for it because I am dangerously insane and may turn on them if not humored in this endeavor. â And this was the birth of--I s**t you not--The Lion Drome!
This photo was most likely taken at the first and most famous of the Lion Dromes (that's right, the 20s were so f*****g hardcore that the term âLion Dromeâ needed a plural) which was called
Fearless Eggbert's Lion Drome
. Now, with a name like Eggbert, you have little choice but to grow up "fearless," as your childhood was likely a never-ending orgy of swirlies and atomic wedgies (or whatever they called them in the roaring 20s. Steam-wedgies?) But it could be argued that Eggbert took the "fearless" moniker just a bit too far; it's one thing to put on a daredevil show, but it's quite another to host what appears to be princess Leia racing a motorcycle through the Thunderdome while the King of All Beasts navigates.
That's not fearless; that's surrealistic insanity. That's not a circus act; that's a hallucination that puts you off acid for good.
But you know what the most unsettling aspect of this picture is? It's not the gravity-defying superpredator, nor is it the steam-spouting ramshackle go-kart that appears about to explode. No, it's this guy:
This guy is actually unimpressed. He'sâ¦ he's f*****g bored! What life must you live to find this hybrid of tooth, steel and speed so tedious that you're practically falling asleep inside the Motor-lion Pit?
"HOLY s**t I AM A LION AND I AM ALMOST LEARNING TO DRIVE A CAR."
âHmm. Forgive my apathy, you see, I've just finished racing an ape about the world in a hot air balloon.â
âBUT I AM THE KING OF THE JUNGLE AND NOW ALSO KING OF THE ROAD!â
âYes, well. Last week I killed and ate the king of Spain on a gentleman's wager.â
âBUT MY ENORMOUS JAWS ARE ONLY KEPT IN CHECK BY CENTRIFUGAL FORCE. THEY ARE GOING LIKE 80 MILES AN HOUR.â
âMmm? What, sorry, I fell asleep. Are you quite finished? I've an appointment to keep where I am to be fired at the moon from the world's largest cannon.â
âs**t THAT'S PRETTY CRAZY.â
Advantage: That guy.
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