The 5 Dumbest Supernatural Questions Ever Googled (Answered)

This Halloween, as children ring doorbells up and down their respective neighborhoods like tiny sex offenders, there's at least one house at which they will find no lights, no decorations and no answer. My Uncle Frank is a regular-size sex offender and he's not allowed to hand out candy anymore. What he can offer this holiday, however, is far more valuable: Advice. For the past year now he has been answering real questions posed to Internet search engines from real people. Most of them are embarrassing, shameful and possibly even incriminating but he does it all without a hint of judgment because Uncle Frank knows, perhaps better than anyone, that the depth of human ignorance can never be overestimated.

In honor of Halloween, he has boned up on his knowledge of the supernatural to help out all those poor souls who are thick with desperation and fear. Where searches about spirits and curses would otherwise yield only keyword-optimized ads, now there will be at least one honest answer among them. Yes, it's from a convicted felon, but by god will it be sincere. I'd like to see the Internet promise that.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continued on Page 2

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Special thanks to David Yehaskel who sifts through raw Internet searches and is responsible for the soul crushing searchoftheday.com.

You can follow Soren Bowie on twitter...forever

To turn on reply notifications, click here

271 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

12 Weird Changes The Government Asked Famous Movies to Make

Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.

126

5 Apocalypse Scenarios You Should Stop Worrying About

Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.

182

11 Everyday Gadgets That Just Wouldn't Die

Nothing lasts forever ... except these things.

95

The 5 Worst Changes The MCU Made To The Source Material

In some cases, the Marvel source material just did better.

163

5 Horror Movie Characters Who Deserve More Credit

These characters are amazing with or without ample amounts of screen time.

52

5 Mobile App Scams That Just Keep Getting Worse

Google's algorithms know us better than we know ourselves.

82