I want to play a game. The rules of this game are simple. Find the nearest boobs that belong to someone you don't know. Tell that person you're a doctor, and as part of your doctorly duties, you need to feel those boobies. Come back here and let us all know how it panned out for you.
There will be one time in everyone's life when the line "Can I touch your boobs?" will work as an opening volley to a stranger. Everyone gets one; try not to miss it. Most times, however, you'll get a dirty look, spit in your eye, or a punch in the kisser. The resulting bloody nose is well-earned, and hopefully it taught you a lesson.
Because the universe enjoys a paradox, the boobie-touching rules don't always apply, and sometimes you get a person like Phillip Winikoff. I need you to close your eyes and still somehow read this. Close one eye. Now picture this -- Winikoff was a 76-year-old man who looked like that old fart from Up! after a weekend of drinking schnapps. Posing as a door-to-door doctor, a thing that is not a thing, Winikoff managed to go to not one, but two different women in an apartment complex, explain that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams, and then give them breast exams in their homes, with a quick follow-up gloveless crotch exam tossed in for good measure.
It's stories like this that make you want to just write Bill Gates a letter and ask for a million bucks, because who knows, it could work, right? And in case you think it's a fluke, it's worth noting that Winikoff isn't the only one to pull this off. A transgendered fake doctor going by the name Berlyn Aussieahshowna managed to convince several women in nightclubs in Idaho to get breast exams by claiming that she was a plastic surgeon. She was caught after the examinees called the number she gave them to schedule appointments and discovered that she was not a doctor there. This story is remarkable in that someone using the worst fake name ever managed to get people to concede to breast exams in nightclubs, and for apparently confirming that Idaho has nightclubs.