Possibly the saddest part of this whole story is that this guy needed to run a scam to play with random dudes' junk. After perusing Craigslist for five minutes to research this, and having also been on Chatroulette once, it seems pretty clear that if you want to play with some random dude's junk, all you really need to do is ask and you'll be up to your ears in wiener, no felonies required. Maybe some ointment, but no felonies.
Everyone enjoys a good penis pump now and then. That's what Granny used to say, and if you argued with her, it was two days in the cellar with the Gooch. But for all the good penis pumping has done for the world, there's a dark underbelly, or taint, if you will -- the pumping party.
The term "pumping party" sounds gross all on its own, but it's gross in a whole different way when you read up on it. It's when a bunch of people get together to have someone that everyone is reasonably sure is not a real doctor inject them with a wacky grab bag of random products in an effort to make whatever body part is being injected bigger. So those butt implants done with cement like before or, in this case, your wang. To clarify, you go to someone's house to let another person inject things into your penis. And why? Because it's cheaper than letting a doctor do it. I'm reasonably sure I could buy some pliers and perform my own dental work on the cheap as well, but I'm still not gonna do it.
At this particular party, a man allowed pretend doctor Kasia Rivera, maybe with a crowd of onlookers enjoying cocktail wieners and Fresca, to inject his dong with silicone. Industrial grade silicone, the kind of stuff you buy at Home Depot to seal your toilet.
In case you're wondering what a dink full of industrial silicone does to you, you die. The patient in question collapsed the following day from a silicone embolism and his weird, amorphous penis was not enjoyed by anyone.
If you're thinking maybe other substances are safer than silicone, it's worth noting that shady clinics in Thailand also offer a similar procedure in which they'll inject your unit with olive oil. Olive oil has to be safer, because Rachael Ray uses it and she would never endorse murderous penis grease, right? WRONG! So wrong. Rachael Ray hates your penis and wants it destroyed without mercy.
While I'm not sure if a greasy wiener ever killed anyone, at least one man in Thailand had to have his entire undercarriage Ken Dolled, thanks to some severe infection and cancer. Did the oil cause cancer? That seems odd at best, but on the other hand, so does injecting your penis repeatedly with oil to the point that it becomes infected. I'm no doctor. Neither are any of the rest of these people.
Check out more from Felix in The 5 Most Poorly Conceived 'Sexy' Charity Drives and The 6 Stupidest Things Ever Done on a Dare.