Homosexuality, even today, makes a lot of heterosexuals uncomfortable. It's been a part of our culture for so long that "gay" means "insulting" or "weird," and it carries a certain weight. And while you can be totally comfortable with gay people around you, the insinuation that you may be gay can take some people by surprise. So if you fill someone's computer with gay porn, well then that's just really surprising.
Gary, the guy who sucks at my job.
I don't spend all day on a computer writing comedy. I have to go to work and get on a computer there and just slowly give my soul away, too. And at the office where this occurs is a fellow named Gary, who is such an a*****e. It's not his real name, so I can say that about him without fear of reprisal. Gary is your typical workplace brown-noser who has the atypical habit of stealing work and/or credit for work whenever he can get away with it. All the girls hate him. Me, too.
I decided that Gary would probably appreciate gay porn on his computer, but then I thought that that was unfair to gay people. Gay people don't deserve Gary anyway. Plus I think that may be illegal. However, a series of increasingly homoerotic images to suggest not that Gary spends all his time at work looking at men humping so much as Gary just really longs to be hugged by shirtless firefighters seemed like a good idea. Maybe Gary's email signature should include a homoerotic gif. Maybe lots of guys in locker rooms should be his wallpaper. Maybe his computer should be queued to play "It's Raining Men."
Being the kind of guy Gary is, I was confident that this would make him uncomfortable, and also let him know that his terrible password "starwars123" has been on a Post-it in his top drawer for like a year, so his computer is less secure than his sexuality.
Gary caught me after about five minutes. My explanation that I confusedly thought it was my computer and I was just looking for wrestling photos for my own amusement fell on deaf ears.
Since I hadn't actually managed to sabotage Gary's computer, I got away with an official reprimand from my boss and some glances that suggested HR would not approve of any follow-up questions for fear of a civil rights incident.
My hasty plan B included emailing Gary numerous photos of men in various states of undress asking him if he, as a man, felt that I could develop a workout regimen that would help me attain the same physical results, and if so, what might I need to do to maintain my physique. The gifs were all sent with questions about where he suspected they came from. It was a hollow victory, but he did block my email.