If you can consistently get a USB cable into the port in fewer than five attempts, I think you're a wizard. If you can do it on the first shot every time, you are a god who can bend and shape existence to your will. I assume that, when you sit at a table, you just fall back into empty space and a chair from across the room glides beneath you. A USB cable shouldn't be at all difficult to plug in. Nearly all of our devices use them, and we plug at least one or two into something every day. But here's the problem:
USBs don't do a good job of conveying which side is up, so that little white strip in the center bangs against the incongruent end of the port, meaning I have successfully failed at my first attempt at plugging it in. Here's where it gets interesting: There's blood magic and voodoo curses in USB cables. Flip the plug, stab it in -- nothing. No obstruction, no white thingy getting in the way -- the cable knows. It knows you're trying to be cute by finding a solution. It summons its dark magics and prevents itself from being plugged in correctly. Flip it back and blah blah blah failure failure failure. This can go on for upwards of 30 seconds. If anything as basic as plugging a thing into a second thing goes on for more than seven seconds, it's a challenge thrown down by the God of Mundane Mischief -- a naughty, giggling cherub-looking bastard who takes great delight in igniting my short temper when it comes to uncooperative technology.
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