Later that night, you walk up behind him while he's pecking away at his computer and put your arms around him. He casually turns his cheek for you to kiss, never taking his eyes off the screen, and doesn't even appear to notice when you walk away. You're going to bed. He's not.
Also, your bed is ridiculous and has too much shit on it.
This has been going on for months, and you just don't understand how it got this way. He used to be so affectionate. You held hands everywhere you went. You'd lie around on the couch together and watch movies. You'd kiss and say "I love you" two dozen times a day. Everywhere the two of you went, you crop-dusted crowds with a sickeningly sweet, kissy-face vapor trail that left entire sections of town bent over and vomiting bile. What happened?
How It Sneaks Up on You
What happened was the "push-pull dynamic," and given enough time, it's virtually unavoidable. It works like this:
Your favorite food is lasagna (if it's not, just insert your favorite food and pretend you have a soul). You have it about once a month because it's expensive and kind of a pain in the ass to make, but when you do, you can just eat that shit for days. Out of the blue, an uncle dies and leaves you some money and a shitload of mozzarella cheese -- so you start making it every day. About four days in, you're thinking, "Man, I love lasagna, but I desperately need a break from it." But since your fridge is packed from top to bottom with it, you continue. By the end of the second week, you not only don't consider it your favorite food, you actively hate it.