The history of human sexuality is as stunning as it is off-putting and arousing. Every human exists thanks to the act of sex, and yet, with 7 billion of us here right now and many more behind us through history, we're still only so comfortable discussing what gets us off. Possibly because we're all busy wanking.
At various points in history, we have been more or less able to give voice to our desires and needs. The reason for this seems clear in modern society, and that is fear. I am afraid of you just as you are afraid of me, and only a handful of people that most of the world considers weird are open to expressing all their myriad sexual perversions. Even that word is a bit judgmental, isn't it? If you like different sex, you're perverted. You're wrong in some way. Better keep it quiet. Hump that bagel in the closet, weirdo. Not at the drive-thru.
Getty Son, I'm gonna need that cream cheese.
If you want to have your tongue in someone's bum, or even if you don't want to do that at all and you never will but the thought pops into your head thrice a year at family gatherings, you may be crippled with the fear that someone, somehow, is going to find out and judge you. People whose opinions you care about will look at you like a monster, and you, psychologically naked as the day you were born, will have nothing to shield that terrible blow to your psyche. And that makes you and me and everyone else feel bad sometimes.
The crazy thing is that I can write this article and say it's OK, you have those thoughts sometimes and so do I, but on some level you're never going to believe me. What if it's really just you and me and Gladstone thinking these things and everyone else is thinking about how they can better serve their country and lower fuel emissions? And everyone else thinks that, too, and we'll never get together and be comfortable enough to just voice any of these thoughts, and not just because that would be an awkward conversation for us to have upon first meeting (save it for the second date).
Thanks to the Internet we have Rule 34, which states that if something exists, there's a pornographic version of it, and that actually seems like it might be true, which isn't always a good thing. Not everything has to be sexy to everyone, and that's OK. For instance, I think your feet are gross and I've never even seen them. Please keep them away from my crotch. Some folks are all about that, though. Some will be open about that desire, others not so much.