Tesla Coils, Mario Bros. and The Moon Landing Was Bullshit: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Awesome Video Of The Day Tesla Coils Playing Mario Bros If I had a time machine, I'd travel back in time, pick up Nikola Tesla and take him to the "2007 Lightning on the Lawn Teslathon." I'd give him a beer, sit him down in one of those folding camping chairs, give him a clap on the back and say, "You've come a long way, baby." Then the Super Mario Bros. theme song would start playing and the lightning would be shooting all over the place and that dude would scream "YEAHHHH!!!" and Nikola would turn to me with a quizzical look on his face. Then I'd take him back to the time machine, go back in time a few hours and show him Super Mario Bros. so he actually knows what it is. Then I'd take him back to the Teslathon and the dude would scream "YEAHHHH!!!" and Nikola would probably feel pretty good about himself for a minute. Maybe he didn't invent the Tesla Coil as a novelty, but at least people were enjoying themselves, screaming "YEAHHHH!!!" and hooting and hollering. But then a few seconds later, everyone would fall silent and a general sense of boredom would sweep over the crowd. Everyone would watch the Tesla Coils playing their little tune and yawn, and then Nikola would turn to me and be like "Hey, uhh, listen - I've got some experiments to wrap up and stuff," and I'd take him back to his lab, where he would promptly destroy all of his schematics and die in obscurity. Only I would know of the man that was Nikola Tesla, but alas, I'd be too busy partying in outer space and too drunk on futuristic booze to tell anyone about him. That's the problem with time machines right there: the futuristic outer space parties are just too good to pass up.
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The Best Conspiracy Theories Ever Awesome Conspiracy #5: The Apollo Moon Landing Was A Hoax Nuts And Bolts: Pretty straightforward: We never landed on the moon, and the whole thing was faked by NASA to win the space race. Evidence: The original tapes of the moonwalk are missing, and conspiracy theorists claim that these tapes would allow higher quality images that could help uncover clues about the hoax. Others claim that mission photographs were doctored or that it would've been impossible for the astronauts to survive the radiation, but there's one point that all conspiracy theorists seem to agree on: There's nothing wrong with living with your parents well into your 40s.
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Plausability: Not great in a global sense, but not bad for a conspiracy theory. People were used to pretty shitty special effects in 1969, so it wouldn't have been that hard to pull it off. They probably could have taped a black sheet to the wall and said "I AMMMM INNNN OUTER SPAAAACE" really slowly and people would have eaten it up. You know - because people talk really slowly in outer space.
Got A Problem? Do you hate your mother? Are you clueless when it comes to proper dinner table etiquette? Is your weird fetish ruining your life? Let me help you out. All next week on the Cracked Blog, the Daily Nooner will also double as the worst advice column on the entire internet. Send your letters here.
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