This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
For all the attention given to fast cars and Swiss watches, it's often the totally affordable, commonplace objects we carry around which make the biggest impact on our lives. Getting your fingers caught in your key ring or getting ink on your jeans every time you use that cheap pen can instantly undo any feelings of agency and control you might have had. To keep tactile neuroses at bay and maintain your composure, we recommend that you give your impulse purchases the same close consideration you would a new home or a budding relationship. Take a look at these shining examples of everyday usability.
Rocketbook Reusable Smart Notebooks
If you're the type of person who prefers the physical touch of paper and openly weeps at the smell of a newly opened book, then this digital age might be posing an impediment to your handwritten note-taking. Sure, you can bust out any old notebook and scribble to your heart's content, but when it comes time to transfer those notes to the cloud, you're basically left to do them all over again. Well get ready to Re-Joyce Carol Oates, because the Pocketbook Reusable Notebook works in tandem with your phone to offer instant uploading to the cloud. When you're done, pop that sucker in the microwave (seriously) and the magic ink will come right off. Pick up a Rocketbook here for $22.99.
Carrying a ton of keys is great if you are an elementary school custodian or an elderly murder suspect in a mystery novel. But for the rest of us regular people with access to multiple locked buildings, metal keys are an unfortunate burden on our pockets, handbags, and cloth lanyards. The extended KeySmart is a lightweight, durable organizer with room for 14 keys of any shape, from hardware store copies to strange, foreign skeleton keys. Get one for $19.99.
HuMn Aluminum RFID-Blocking Mini Wallet
Even if you refuse to shop online out of fear of identity theft and a stubborn insistence on supporting your local farmer's market, you're still at risk from card skimmers lurking behind you in line at the gas station. To keep their RFID scanners away from your plastic money, just encase all of it in one of these HuMn Aluminum wallets. Besides protecting you against the wrath of the criminal underworld, it also holds up to six cards comfortably and only costs $29.99.
Saberlight Rechargeable Plasma Lighter
It's remarkable that we still mostly use butane lighters in 2017, instead of some kind of lightsaber that makes combustion from a high-frequency sound emitted by a crystal. For a break from our neanderthal world of gas-powered fire, check out the Saberlight Rechargeable Plasma Lighter. Not only is it completely rechargeable, but it's also TSA-approved, works in the wind and rain, and is just $15.95.
Orbiter Magnetic Fidget Toy
This orbiting spinner is a refined take on the year's most viral product. Unlike its iconic three-ended sibling, this one has a lower profile and can be spun one-handed, so you won't look like a walking hashtag while you ease your overwhelming anxiety. It's dead silent and resists dust and rust to guarantee many moons of mindless enjoyment. One-up all of the other millennial hipsters and grab an Orbiter Magnetic Fidget Toy for $16.99.
For more smartypants hacks, check out 6 Cool Cracked Items That Will Make You Look Hella Smart. We believe in you.
Not like this Hollywood. Not like this.
Let's get a few things straight ...
Hindsight is the year 2020.
The smallest changes in these men's lives would have changed all of history.
Sitcom writers were tackling the subject with nuance and realism long before hashtags were even invented.