Why try to collect hundreds of Hard Rock Cafe shirts in every major city around the world just to prove you're well traveled when you can wear one shirt that says it explicitly? Plus, you don't actually have to go anywhere. Hell, you could lay low in your shed for a month, and as long as you come out wearing one of these shirts, everyone will be asking you what French wines are the best or to translate the directions on their IKEA bed frame.
And for those of you with more scientific tastes, we offer the Basstronaut, sharing the gift of rattling blown-out speakers with our intergalactic neighbors. They say in space, no one can hear you scream, but they will have no choice but to listen to your reggaeton.
We still have a contest running for designs of shirts that must exist in your favorite fictional universe. It's a good time and the winner(s) gets $500. But if you want to get in on the challenge, you'll have to submit by Friday because the contest ends at 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time. Or just go peruse* the thread at your leisure, there are some outstanding designs in there already.
Our Weekly Dose of Envy
Every week, we like to wander around the Internet in search of the designs we were never smart/funny/brave enough to try slapping on a T-shirt. We love these shirts and we think they deserve as much attention as possible. We are by no means fashion experts -- in fact, many of our editors only own pants that come with a drawstring -- but we know what we like in a shirt design, and goddamn these are cool.