Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.

It's October, which means most people are in Halloween mode, planning costumes, buying their local pharmacy-brand candy, scheming ways to scare children, etc. However, Thanksgiving is right around the corner, which means the consumer holidays like Black Friday and Cyber Monday are stirring from their merciful slumber. So if you're smart, you're already getting your holiday shopping out of the way while those other dummies are drafting their spooky Twitter handles.

To help you get it all done early, we've rounded up some cool stuff that will make for great gifts.

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Signed And Framed Marvel Universe Memorabilia

Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

MSRP: $599.99. Sale Price: $399.99 (33% off).

Check out this poster hand-signed (as opposed to foot-signed, which admittedly would be cooler) by Chris Hemsworth, aka Thor, aka The Huntsman, aka George Kirk. This is just the tip of the iceberg of signed, authenticated Marvel merch, so check out the entire collection while you're there.

Signed And Framed Star Wars Memorabilia

Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

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MSRP: $599.99. Sale Price: $399.99 (33% off).

More of a Star Wars family? That's cool, as we've got signed and authenticated memorabilia for that universe too. That poster above is signed by Boba Fett himself, Jeremy Bulloch. And again, that's just the tip of the Sarlacc pit of what's available. Check out the entire collection.

Robox RBX1 3D Printer

Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

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MSRP: $1,499. Sale Price: $449.99 (69% off).

Here's the bad news: You can't create an entirely new anticapitalist society that doesn't make you spend money on holidays with this 3D printer. Here's the good news: You can make pretty much anything else. With the RBX1's Headlock System (TM), you can change out print heads to make intricate projects and create tools and other cool things.

FLIKR Personal Fireplace

Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

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MSRP: $85. Sale Price: $70 (17% off).

It's getting cold out there, and while we'd all love to snuggle up in front of a fireplace, who has a fireplace in their apartment? This portable kit runs on rubbing alcohol and lets you get that fireplace feel wherever you are, and without having to chop any wood.

"Sorry Losers" Donald Trump Framed Tweet

Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

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MSRP: $75. Sale Price: $49.99.

Want to commemorate another stunning display of "I.Q." from our inept glob of a president? Stir the pot at your next holiday gathering with this framed tweet, and leave your estranged uncle flummoxed.

"Covfefe" Donald Trump Framed Tweet

Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

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MSRP: $75. Sale Price: $49.99.

If you want a shout-out for the Never Trumpers in the fam, then this framed tweet might be more on the nose. At the very least, it hearkens back to a time when the worst we had to worry about in the political climate were typos.

Framed Tweets

Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

MSRP: $75. Sale Price: $49.99.

Of course, you don't have to make a political statement. The rest of this Framed Tweets collection could make great gifts for cousins and friends. There are tweets from Cardi B, 50 Cent, Ariana Grande, and many more, all of which will look great on the wall.

Dinosaur Zoo Snood

Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

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MSRP: $19.99. Sale Price: $15.99 (20% off).

When your friends have dogs, you become the cool aunt or uncle. As such, you have a responsibility to make your dog nephew or niece look cute all the time. This snood does that and turns their cute puppy yelp into a ferocious Jurassic growl.

Reindeer Zoo Snood

Start Your Holiday Shopping Early With These 9 Buys

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MSRP: $24.99. Sale Price: $19.99 (20% off).

If you're a doggy's aunt or uncle and you really love Rudolph, then this snood is probably more your style. It's sure to make your canine niece or nephew look like the most festive and/or adorably depressed pup on the block.

Prices are subject to change.

Perhaps the greatest gift of all is that of solitude. Let your loved one bundle up with The Calm Embrace Weighted Blanket and this Sable Memory Foam Pillow with Bamboo Cover and leave them the heck alone. Because of love.

And make sure to stave off the Winter Blues early, too, with these 6 Items from Our Store to Help Holiday Sadness.

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