Here's Chris Pine as James Kirk. I guess he looks like a young Kirk. I'm still not 100 percent sold though. That's definitely not a Kirk like pose. That's a Banana Republic like pose. __
When we look at the two right beside each other, the relief is a little starker. Although the two have similar features, Shatner looks like a goddamned animal. Even understanding the difference between photographs and the real world, I look at that and am at least a little concerned Kirk will leap out of the screen and have sex with me. If he had made eye contact with the camera when this was taken we would all be pregnant by now. __
Now Pine is looking a little more like Kirk, having perfected Shatner's patented "sitting in a chair like an asshole" technique. Good stuff. What else is there? I'm glad to see the short skirt in the background. It speaks to the advancement of a culture when creamy thighs aren't tucked away behind unitards like elbows or something else that's useless. We can also see Bones in the background, thinking. Here I'm imagining J.J. Abrams on the set screaming "Think harder you idiot! HARDER." And in the foreground, we have an unknown character, the blurry focus concealing his identity. __
I've lost my notes, so I'm not sure what this is. I'd heard J.J. Abrams is a big fan of model-based special effects, so I guess this is from some special effects sequence. This actually reminds me of Kirk a little more than Chris Pine. __
No notes with this one either. I think this is a young Kirk in a fistfight with a 1967 Corvette. __
Spock and Kirk having a disagreement about each other's mothers. __
I was a huge believer in the ability of model-based special effects to hold their own against CG, but have to admit being a little disappointed in this. Hopefully this will be cleaned up by the final edit. __ OK, that was fun, but check out this--I totally saved the best for last. This is the meat of it folks; the dilithium crystal tucked away in a field of turd crystals. I have here an actual script fragment from the actual movie! It was emailed to me this weekend by an inside source, who goes only by the name RockOutWithYourSpockOut. Apparently there's some secret places on IRC where tons of leaks like this are traded freely, but RockOut was only willing to part with this fragment, and only once I sent him $50. Strap yourself in and send all power to forward shields, fellas, because this will flatten your balls... ____
____ Wow. Just wow. And apparently it goes on like this! RockOut tells me there's a scene with Scotty and the ship's mysterious wise bartender wrestling where they're both lubed up more than a pair of Alterian Grease Kittens that I can have for another $200. I basically need to see that really bad, so if anyone wants to Paypal me some cash, I'll see if I can get some more of this up for us all to enjoy.
__ You can follow Chris Bucholz right here, right on this page you're looking at right now, because he is too damned busy for Twitter. __
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.