You didn't ask, did you?
If someone offered you the opportunity to drive a giant robot, would you try to stop them?
What is it about using a giant robot to punch their enemies that is so appealing to young men? Is it the deep-seated rage they feel at the world? Is it that desire to climb inside another being and recapture some feeling they've longed for since leaving the womb? Or is it something weird?
They said the robot was left here hundreds of years ago by some powerful aliens, who left it behind to protect us in our darkest hour. It has something called an Epsilon Drive that only people from a certain bloodline can operate.
And so you, a man with no special skills other than ingesting massive quantities of LSD ...
I'm not high.
... are the only one who can save the planet from a giant space lizard.
If I can turn this thing on, that is.
It's not even on?
The briefing was quite ... brief. I'd ask them, but there's some weird static sound in the helmet's radio.
Are there any joysticks or, I don't know, handlebars in front of you?
Or one of these things?
Nope. Is that bad?
That's good, actually. It implies this giant robot works via some sort of mind-control technology, probably through that giant helmet you're wearing. Reach around on it and see if there's a power switch or something.
Are you sure?
OK, here goes. OWWWWWWWW!
Did it hurt?
I was worried that would happen.
YOU SPECIFICALLY SAID IT COULDN'T HURT.
I meant that figuratively. It could literally hurt, obviously.
FUCK YOU. Ahh, my brain.
Does it have kind of a powerful electricity feeling in it?
Yeah, that'd be electricity then. OK, let's try ... not that again. This time, maybe just try to manually adjust your brain to sync up with the robot's controls.
How do I do that again?
Just think about it really hard, I guess.
Are you sure?
You motherf- It worked! Everything's coming online. Arms. Legs. Oh shit!
The robot's shit came online?
No! The space lizard's coming!